Sugar Buzz: Twee & Luliloo Mooves On

After only three years on upper State, the Hammond sisters are closing shop in search of greener pastures.
I'd interviewed the newly minted entrepreuers just after they opened in 2004, and was heartbroken to see them sweeping up the dusty remains of their broken dreams yesterday afternoon. Okay, that's a bit much, but I hate to see another local business uprooted, especially after the evil empire across the street scattered the likes of Dotty Dumplings to the wind, aka N. Frances.
T & L was empty except for a few wooden barrels of salt water taffy and hard candy, with the odd unsold box cowering near the window. The glass counter that once held expensive chocolate was barren, and the fat jars that lined the wall with festive bulk candy were gone forever. I got all verklempt when I saw that naked wall.
Aside from Candinas, which moved somewhere on the square near the old Badger Candy Kitchen, there's a gaping sugar hole downtown. Wait, that doesn't sound right.
Where are the Badger Candy Kitchens, Karamel Krisps, Moon Fun Shops, King's and their incomprable deep fried Pizza Frenchies?
WHERE?
Nice try Twee & Luliloo, we barely knew ye.

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Gourmet Candy Corn - Phooey!

I suppose the Cheeseheads who paw through my candy dish on a Football Thursday, Sunday, or Monday would like these colors. Except for the orange, a color I don't normaly allow in the house. And wash your hands, all of you.
Don't get me wrong, I love a good green apple, but who are you kidding with this gourmet candy corn business? And is there another flavor out there besides green apple? Is there?
Football Thursday? The NFL Network? Don't get me started. I'll take my Big Ben, Little Willie, and Alan Fanny free of charge on a Sunday afternoon the way the good Lord intended thank you very much.

These candy corns go by the peculiar name Candy Specimens and are by Galerie. Their website hurt my eyes and someone should tell them to turn their music down. They are having a clearance sale in Kentucky this October. Whoopty doo.
Meanwhile, don't wipe your frozen tundra on my steel curtain, and eat more fruit.

Caramel Apple Sugar Babies

Caramel Apple Sugar Babies look like mishapen lima beans and taste like sour bits of nasty. As often is the case, they're better sucked than bitten.
They look less gross than a lot of things you could pull out of your mouth, and although not good enough for couch potato candy, they'll do as emergency computer food. (Although the computer hasn't touched them and they've been sitting here for weeks.)

The stores are filled with the sweet, tart smell of green apple this time of year, but I'd easily pass these babies by for that old filling puller, the Caramel Apple Pop.
Caramel Apple Sugar Babies would probably make a good Halloween candy mix, but use sparingly as they have just enough weight and sour power to spit a fair distance.

Mummified Fingers

These suckers are so foul I'd like to give them the finger. I'm eating a melted Russell Stover Marshmallow Pumpkin to get the funky taste out my mouth. All I can say is, "Mmmph plrrf."
Excuse me. Target brand Mummified Fingers Candy Suckers, Calories 120, Sugars 15g, are almost tasteless, except for the taste of plastic.
These crummy mummies aren't so very bad until you bite into one. And then, the horror, the horror.
I like a sucker you can bite down into with a total disregard for cosmetic dentistry. I also like the "NOT A TOY!" reminder on the back of the package. Good thing, because they're made in China.
They might break your teeth, and taste like the packaging they come in, but they look cool and could be the perfect party favor for the right crowd.