Thursday, October 25, 2007

Gummy Body Parts

body partsUnwrapping a gummy body part is like unwrapping cheap air freshener in a dorm room. There's too much packaging and it reeks. Not unlike dirty underwear in a garbage bag (or body parts in a body bag), Gummy Body Parts are best left wrapped in plastic. Instead of a rolling up a wet towel, shove a bag of these sick puppies under your dorm room, hotel room, fill in the blank room door.Roscoe
Roscoe, the sick puppy poster boy, has my cousin Phil looking for something to keep the beast from eating things (like an extra large homemade pizza cooling on the counter) not meant for dogs, Steelers fans included. I think surrounding the perimeter with a few Gummy Body Parts will do it. Although they smell vaguely like pineapple and Roscoe here loves fruity hair care products...
I'd rather listen to the Dual-Action Cleanse infomercial the morning after Dollar Taco Night in a communal bathroom than have a heaping helping of Gummy Body Parts (35 Calories, No Fat, 5mg Sodium, 8g Carbs, 5g Sugars and yes, 1g Protein per part). I dread to think what they look like plastered on your colon wall.
The best way to eat a body part is quickly. That way you don't have to smell them and it's over like a flaming shot, though scarier.
The teeth are a little easier to force down because they're smaller, or thinner, or maybe it's the idea of teeth eating teeth. Wait for the right moment to have fun with that concept.

7 comments:

sweet couch potato pie said...

Did you notice the teeth are bigger than the foot?

Candy Jones said...

Open gummy vampire mouth, insert shrunken foot.

chedpezhead said...

That dog is a traitor

Conserned Parent said...

My daugther got the teeth and the ear for halloween, But the ear, when turned upside down, looks like female parts. I don't thing these things should be sold to give out to kids at all.

Candy Jones said...

Not even for Sex Ed?

Nitronea said...

Just eat the thing then! And for God's sake don't turn it upside down!

Jeanna said...

Hey Cheddar Cheese Head, he's easily frightened, under the impression he can talk, terrified of beagles and squirrels, unable to resist food of any kind any where at any time, but he's no traitor. Just a dog who knows his football.