Sugar Coated Teeth

There's a sticky assault on the world of confection in the form of pump spray candy. Even those deserters (no, not desserters) at the Onion noticed the influx of candy sprays at the 2007 All Candy Expo. I don't agree with them that kids are too lazy to chew their own candy. Yet. But it's a new toy, you know, like a cell phone. And because it's a toy whose plastic parts are made in China, there are caveats such as even if you manage to open one: DON'T DRINK IT. Chris.It's one of those Urban Legends that turn out to be true. Some kid cracked open a Big Mouth Sour Spray and ended up in the ER, and not the Mekhi Phifer ER where you can watch Abby fall off the wagon and find out what's up with Stanley Tucci's whacked out son.
Interestingly enough, the "avoid spraying in eyes" warning turned out to be less asinine than I thought. Kids―you have to wonder how they make it through the day. (I went home with a fine layer of candy flavors on my face and arms.)
TESTED: Mike & Ikes's Cherry, Green Apple, Wild Berry, and the spaz-inducing Grape Warhead Super Sour candy sprays.
MISSING: Hot Tamale which I just found out exists.
SIDE BETS: Could Bug and Bobby D. "withstand the grape?" (Yes, yes they could.) Would Roscoe develop another phobia while learning the concept of tag team wrestling? You be the judge.
TIP: (From Bobby) "You've got to spray it on your tongue, you can't just spray it down your throat."

THE RESULTS: Bobby took 23 direct hits from the Grape Warheads Super Sour Spray and Chris withstood 20. Bobby favored the Wild Berry, and Bug, ever the voice of dissent, claimed to like the evil grape. No sour sprays for me, ever again.
Phil, who initially liked the Wild Berry even though they made his eyes water, switched his vote to Cherry, and prefers the traditional Mike & Ike solid candy. Old dogs and such.The boys liked the sprays and I've grown fond of them since last week. They easily fit in your pocket or purse and smell less suspicious than breath spray. Not sure about the idea of a spray for your water as a Half Baked blogger suggests. Maybe.
There's no nutrition information on that label, Phil, for that you have to write the distributor, Impact Confections.