Last Chance Apples

Time flies when your computer desk is buried in candy wrappers and speaker wire.
Someone once told me the best caramel apples in the state were *over by Portage, home of a lovely maximum security prison. (I think the prisoners are really from Florida and they make expensive desk chairs.)
Caramel apples. Although Copps gets props for the over-sized Granny Smith's they decorate with *crushed nuts, M & M's, and Heath pieces, there is only one apple worthy of a snake and a naked chic with ulterior motives.

The James J. caramel apple is a seasonal homage to decadence made only in October. They're as fleeting as summer love and as sinful as sun dappled sex on a bed of Madeleine truffles.
You can't really call these caramel apples because the seductive caramel is wrapped around a perfect Macintosh apple like the legs of a warm lover--where am I and why is there a wooden stick in my hair? The caramel apple is then draped with James. J. chocolate and adorned with halved pecans or cashews.
They're lovingly made in Lake Mills on Thursday and arrive in Madison on Friday. They go quickly, and aside from the space-time continuum which sucked up this post, tomorrow is the last day to get them. Tomorrow is also Parent's Day at Freakfest, so if you want an excuse to abandon your life shackles and catch the last of the fall colors, unseasonable weather, and the best caramel apples in the state of Wisconsin, come on down.


* "Over by" is acceptable, nay mandatory, if you've spent more than three hours in Milwaukee, I mean over by Milwaukee, past the bubbler and that *Cubs fan in the Bear's jersey about to get handed his nads by a giant bratwurst.