Magic Box

Two weeks after my birthday, I'm flanked by candy wrappers and a bottomless gift box from the Old Time Candy Company. After eating my way through a layer of Jujubes, Kits, Mallow Cups, and candy bars I avoided as a kid, I feel a skooch unhealthy. Which is why I'm having a Charleston Chew for brunch. A little pick-me-up you understand. (The other day I had a Sky Bar with a side of Sixlets for breakfast—yeah, the diet's coming along fine.)
The magic 60s assortment box has taken on Lost-like overtones—if all there were to eat on the island were Zagnuts and Whoppers.
As with most nostalgic candy, memories shove themselves into your brain with each chomp. Like that time Terry Vilbrandt got an "A" on her science project just for putting some Red Hots in a test tube. C'mon! Or that pink Snaps tasted like soap and the white ones reminded us of Winkie's cage (something to do with living so close to the zoo). And why did we keep eating Caramel Creme Bulls-Eyes when they smacked of art paste?
MIA
The elusive Delfa Roll, Razzles, Lik-M-Aid, and both bubble gum and chocolate cigarettes.
(But the Chuckles, Pumpkin Seeds, Charms (both squared and suckered), were there. So were Necco Slap Stix, Black Jack Taffy, Walnettos, real candy cigs, and a cinnamon Hot Dog! two pack.)
Honorable Mention
•Brach's jelly nougat
•Neopolitan Coconut Sundae
•Chiclets 2-pack
•BB Bats
•Sugar Daddy (not too soft, not too brittle)
•Honeycombed Peanuts
•Bob's Sweet Stripes
•Butter Rum Life Savers
•Atkinson's Peanut Butter Bars and Chick-O-Sticks
Oy, I ate too much. Where is that fizzies packet, the one that looks like a condom?

Jones Soda Carbonated Candy

Jones Soda added three new carbonated candy flavors this year—M.F. Grape, Orange & Cream, and Cream Soda. They taste like fizzy SweeTarts (or SweeTart Fizzies), and come in cool flip top tins that make you want to empty out the contents and put more stuff in. There are short customer non sequiturs written under each lid ("you are a skilled metal worker," --Jamie in Satsuma).
The Jones Soda website calls the lively little candies "flavor boosters," suggesting they be dropped in Jones sodas. I tried this with a warm Diet 7Up over ice, and don't recommend it. (It tasted like a piece of Orange & Cream candy dropped out of someone's mouth and into my drink.)
Let me add that along with tempting pure cane soda choices such as Crushed Melon, Jones is known for some disturbing holiday flavors: Broccoli Casserole, Turkey & Gravy, Corn on the Cob, and Wild Herb Stuffing, et—blehhh—cetera.
The Jones candies are as "tongue-tingling," as the tin claims, but I'd forget the whole flavor booster thing.
Not like the Pop Rocks I expected, they are instead crunchy and effervescent, with a quick pucker, and sweet aftertaste. They don't taste much like soda, but are almost as fun as Fizzies, without the fear of something bubbling on your tongue until it burns straight through.
The Orange & Cream is oddly softer than the other two, and reminds me of Children's Bayer Aspirin. Of the three, I'd choose M.F. Grape, if for no other reason than to wonder aloud what the M.F. stands for.

Sport Beans

If you believe what you read on the Web, bikers, runners, and skaters talk about Jelly Belly Sport Beans as if they're the second coming of Gatorade. The beans are meant as convenient energy boosters rather than candy, even though they were introduced at the 2005 All Candy Expo.
According to an article on Red Orbit, flavor is their "top priority." The Lemon Lime flavor we tried can best be described as "eh." They also come in Fruit Punch, Berry Blue, and Orange.
Maybe you have to be a marathon althlete to appreciate these bland beans, but guest reviewer and scorchin' little leaguer, Bug, wasn't impressed.
In all fairness, we only tried the Lemon Lime, but no beanstalk here. You'd think kids would be a natural market for the makers of Bernie Bott's.

Chocolate Cheese

Continuing with our series on health food...you know it, you've seen it next to the Black Truffle Sheep's Milk, yes boys and girls, it's chocolate cheese.
My first encounter with this touch of evil was at an Arena cheese shop on the way to the American Players Theatre. What better way to get cultured than with a hunk of chocolate cheese? Get it, cultured?
Chocolate cheese is in reality chocolate fudge made with cheese: cream cheese, cheddar, white stilon. The slab in question was made with cheddar.
Brennan's Chocolate Cheese Fudge is savory with an unmistakable bite of cheddar. It's not too sweet, and verges on a pleasant tartness nestled in creamy cocoa. I'd prefer larger pieces of walnut.
Brennan's always has incredible cheeses and whatnot awaiting the indulgent sampler. There aren't many places that will intice you with Maple Syrup Cheddar and cranberry mustard.
Have some chocolate cheese for breakfast, dunk a hunk in your midday mochachino. It also comes in loaf and brick form. The kind of brick you'd wrap in your cholesterol results and throw through your doctor's window.
Also of Interest: The post on Slashfood about chocolate cheese product slices.