Magic Box

Two weeks after my birthday, I'm flanked by candy wrappers and a bottomless gift box from the Old Time Candy Company. After eating my way through a layer of Jujubes, Kits, Mallow Cups, and candy bars I avoided as a kid, I feel a skooch unhealthy. Which is why I'm having a Charleston Chew for brunch. A little pick-me-up you understand. (The other day I had a Sky Bar with a side of Sixlets for breakfast—yeah, the diet's coming along fine.)
The magic 60s assortment box has taken on Lost-like overtones—if all there were to eat on the island were Zagnuts and Whoppers.
As with most nostalgic candy, memories shove themselves into your brain with each chomp. Like that time Terry Vilbrandt got an "A" on her science project just for putting some Red Hots in a test tube. C'mon! Or that pink Snaps tasted like soap and the white ones reminded us of Winkie's cage (something to do with living so close to the zoo). And why did we keep eating Caramel Creme Bulls-Eyes when they smacked of art paste?
MIA
The elusive Delfa Roll, Razzles, Lik-M-Aid, and both bubble gum and chocolate cigarettes.
(But the Chuckles, Pumpkin Seeds, Charms (both squared and suckered), were there. So were Necco Slap Stix, Black Jack Taffy, Walnettos, real candy cigs, and a cinnamon Hot Dog! two pack.)
Honorable Mention
•Brach's jelly nougat
•Neopolitan Coconut Sundae
•Chiclets 2-pack
•BB Bats
•Sugar Daddy (not too soft, not too brittle)
•Honeycombed Peanuts
•Bob's Sweet Stripes
•Butter Rum Life Savers
•Atkinson's Peanut Butter Bars and Chick-O-Sticks
Oy, I ate too much. Where is that fizzies packet, the one that looks like a condom?

Jones Soda Carbonated Candy

Jones Soda added three new carbonated candy flavors this year—M.F. Grape, Orange & Cream, and Cream Soda. They taste like fizzy SweeTarts (or SweeTart Fizzies), and come in cool flip top tins that make you want to empty out the contents and put more stuff in. There are short customer non sequiturs written under each lid ("you are a skilled metal worker," --Jamie in Satsuma).
The Jones Soda website calls the lively little candies "flavor boosters," suggesting they be dropped in Jones sodas. I tried this with a warm Diet 7Up over ice, and don't recommend it. (It tasted like a piece of Orange & Cream candy dropped out of someone's mouth and into my drink.)
Let me add that along with tempting pure cane soda choices such as Crushed Melon, Jones is known for some disturbing holiday flavors: Broccoli Casserole, Turkey & Gravy, Corn on the Cob, and Wild Herb Stuffing, et—blehhh—cetera.
The Jones candies are as "tongue-tingling," as the tin claims, but I'd forget the whole flavor booster thing.
Not like the Pop Rocks I expected, they are instead crunchy and effervescent, with a quick pucker, and sweet aftertaste. They don't taste much like soda, but are almost as fun as Fizzies, without the fear of something bubbling on your tongue until it burns straight through.
The Orange & Cream is oddly softer than the other two, and reminds me of Children's Bayer Aspirin. Of the three, I'd choose M.F. Grape, if for no other reason than to wonder aloud what the M.F. stands for.

Sport Beans

If you believe what you read on the Web, bikers, runners, and skaters talk about Jelly Belly Sport Beans as if they're the second coming of Gatorade. The beans are meant as convenient energy boosters rather than candy, even though they were introduced at the 2005 All Candy Expo.
According to an article on Red Orbit, flavor is their "top priority." The Lemon Lime flavor we tried can best be described as "eh." They also come in Fruit Punch, Berry Blue, and Orange.
Maybe you have to be a marathon althlete to appreciate these bland beans, but guest reviewer and scorchin' little leaguer, Bug, wasn't impressed.
In all fairness, we only tried the Lemon Lime, but no beanstalk here. You'd think kids would be a natural market for the makers of Bernie Bott's.

Chocolate Cheese

Continuing with our series on health food...you know it, you've seen it next to the Black Truffle Sheep's Milk, yes boys and girls, it's chocolate cheese.
My first encounter with this touch of evil was at an Arena cheese shop on the way to the American Players Theatre. What better way to get cultured than with a hunk of chocolate cheese? Get it, cultured?
Chocolate cheese is in reality chocolate fudge made with cheese: cream cheese, cheddar, white stilon. The slab in question was made with cheddar.
Brennan's Chocolate Cheese Fudge is savory with an unmistakable bite of cheddar. It's not too sweet, and verges on a pleasant tartness nestled in creamy cocoa. I'd prefer larger pieces of walnut.
Brennan's always has incredible cheeses and whatnot awaiting the indulgent sampler. There aren't many places that will intice you with Maple Syrup Cheddar and cranberry mustard.
Have some chocolate cheese for breakfast, dunk a hunk in your midday mochachino. It also comes in loaf and brick form. The kind of brick you'd wrap in your cholesterol results and throw through your doctor's window.
Also of Interest: The post on Slashfood about chocolate cheese product slices.

Bo Ryan's Express

This so-called iced cream not only recalls a great basketball season, but is surprisingly subtle and expressive. At least for a tub of ice cream. What is it expressing? Ice cream so fresh you can hear it graze.
Simple Ingredients
The creamy vanilla ice cream is loaded with large chocolate flakes and sports a gentle raspberry swirl. You can hop on Bo's Express without staining your shirt, unless you move around like a an actual badger, in which case watch out for errant chocolate chips.
A Little History
Babcock Hall has been open for 57 years. It's named after Dr. Stephen M. Babcock, who started the country's first dairy school.
Can I get an A-Moo?
He's also known for inventing the first butterfat test—which meant no more waiting for cream to rise to the top to guess butterfat content.
Thank you, Dr. Steve!
Let's face it, Babcock could come out with Blue-Green Badger Nut Algae Bloom, and it would still taste better than anything you'd find in a store, drive-thru, drive-in, or drive-by.

April Is The Mooest Month

What a great day. It started out in traffic court, a place I find wildly entertaining, and ended up at the Babcock Dairy Store.
If you're able to hoof it on down there, check out all the bass and crappie in the stream by the Nat, you won't believe it. It's like Oktoberfest for shiny, shiny fish.
And remember, student employees may not get your order right, but they give you plenty of the wrong thing. Such as:

•Chocolate Caramel Crackle
Rich chocolate ice cream with what tastes like Nestlé Crunch and caramel
•Bo's Express
I picked up a quart and will be reviewing it soon. I thought the label said something about coconut, but the website says raspberry swirl and chocolate flakes. Can't wait to find out what it is
•Irish Cream
Just like it sounds
•Maple Nut
Maple ice cream with cashews
•Butterscoth Marble
Yum
•Caramel Creek
Vanilla ice cream and caramel—this is what I ordered when given a leaning tower of Chocolate Caramel Crackle instead
•Chocolate Turtle
Chocolate ice cream, caramel, chocolate chips, and pecans
•Badger Blast
More chocolate ice cream with a vein of fudge and chocolate flakes. They are really pushing the chocolate
•Berries Jubilee
Strawberry and raspberry ice cream
And all the rest.
Some guy wanted Berry Alvarez and couldn't figure out it was the Berries Jubilee without the blueberries. Or the football season.

Sugar Buzz: Bunny Apples

Yeah, I know Easter was a week ago, but when I saw these Bunny Apples on flickr, I had to share.
Elizabeth, aka flickrer rocketcandy, says the apples were coated with white frosting and marshmallows. Note the caramel topping with dark chocolate bunnies on the right.
I think they were made somewhere on Robson Street in Vancouver.

Easter Apple photo by rocketcandy

Shrinkage

Ignore my sister's disapproving looks and buy your discounted Easter candy before it's all gone. Gone like the green grass of spring. Gone like José Reyes, gone like Juan Pierre.
But before you load up on Cadbury Creme Eggs, I refer you to Chocoblogger Dom Ramsey, bats right, throws right.
Chocoblog came across the shrinking Cadbury Creme Egg story on The Consumerist, and it isn't pretty.
Apparently much smaller Cadbury Eggs had been hatching under the radar until The Office's Ryan the Intern uncovered the truth.
B.J. Novak, who stocks up on the seasonal Cadbury eggs every year, found one stashed away to compare to this year's egg, and voilà, irrefutable proof of chocolate covered shrinkage. On Conan no less.
What happened to the gluttony of supersizing?

Dubble Bubbles

Gum. It's a candy, it's a toy, and unless you're at a ballgame, it's annoying.
Gumballs, like Big Barf candy, also make great filler. And April means you can choose fancy schmancy Easter gum, or simply revisit the classics.
OUR TEST: Bug, Vincenzo, and I inspected a pound of Grape and Blue Raspberry Dubble Bubble for flavor, texture, color, and blowing power.
OUR FINDINGS: I didn't like the fake grape taste which seemed to lose all flavor more quickly than the blue raspberry. I expected something with a sour grape kick, and was clearly thinking of another gum.
The boys were a little put off by the bumpy texture of the blue raspberry, but seemed to enjoy the rich blue color more than the violet.
Mixing colors created the pinkish blue bubble you see to your right. It took about five pieces to get a bubble this size.
CONCLUSION: Nothing loses flavor more quickly than Dubble Bubble. The grape practically lost it's taste before it was chewed. The blue raspberry retained flavor longer, but impeded the bubble blowing process.
In all fairness, we thought the fake grape blew a decent, initially smoother bubble, but found the blue raspberry more alluring.

Big Barf Candy

If you're bored with luscious chocolate spun into Easter eggs and birds nests, here's something to break up the monotony.
Big Barf Candy. It won't spoil anyone's appetite, despite round chunks rolling from a green mouth onto a red tongue.
Let's call it filler candy. It's of the pellet variety which usually comes in a tube, commonly found in toy doctor and makeup kits back in the sixties.
"10ccs of little colored balls, stat."
Big Barf is a fraternal twin of Big Burp, also from the twisted minds at the Kandy Kastle. Surely you're familiar with the Candy Hose Nose and the Mallow Burger with Fries.
Big Barf comes with barfing noises which seem to say, "If you care what I taste like, you've missed the point."
My cousin Vinnie, guest tester, demonstrates.

Lemon Duck With Carrot

These attractive Mark Avenue Chocolates stood out among a multitude of bright and fun candy at Debbies Sweets 'n Treats.
The new store had just been handed down to Deb's daughter, Erica, a few weeks before, and looked fuller and more energized than ever.
While my sister submerged herself in Easter candy, I stocked up on Space Food Sticks and gumballs. And I don't chew gum. Well now I do, having recently purchased a pound of blue raspberry and Dubble Bubble gumballs.
Back to Mark Avenue; they make a decent duck.
The lemon in the Lemon Flavored Yellow Duck was subtle and lingering, the chocolate thick and not too sweet. Weighing in at 1.5 oz., it was thick enough to provide a soft crunch. The light lemon flavor cut the sweetness.
The Orange Carrot had a heavier, artificial taste and smell. It scored high on looks, low on taste.
I'd spend the buck thirty on as many Yellow Ducks as I could stuff in an Easter Basket, but would rather grow, then harvest, my own Chocolate Bunny than eat another Orange Carrot.

Candy Grubbers

A few Now and Laters thrown out of a car decorated in shamrocks by a parade of strangers―Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Driving the Dempsey car in the Madison St. Patrick's Day Parade is all about Celts, candy, and not having to scrape small children out of your wheel well.
Most of the Parade photos are up now. And they're fun to view as a slideshow.
A special thanks to the Flynn's for that much needed Guinness.

Peeps Cocoa Bunnies

Peeps. You know 'em, you love 'em, you want some more of 'em.
I like the Peeps Cocoa Bunnies because their marshmallow innards contrast nicely with the chocolate coating.
Whether you eat one ear at a time or shove the whole thing in your mouth, how cute are those chocolate dotted faces. One of mine had an unsightly mole.
These might be too good for stoners, no offense, and best eaten fresh. That way they're light and airy the way a marshmallow should be. And sugar seeking pets have an easier time of it when one falls their way.
Is it because I rarely have Peeps fresh from the package, or does the dusting of cocoa powder make the Cocoa Bunnies so delectable? I could hardly pose them for a photo without:
A. Wondering what they'd taste like grilled between two graham crackers and a slab of Hershey's chocolate
B. Hoping it got cold enough to dunk them into steaming cups of Chocolate Malt Ovaltine
C. Tearing into the row of four like a wild dog
I've never had Peeps Cocoa Bats, or Peeps Cocao Cats (lovingly mutilated by William at Chocolate Obesession), but I can't imagine they're much different. Peeps Cocoa Bunnies aren't overwhemingly chocolate―can you be overwhelmingly Peep?
Enough of those silly lollipops, I want my Peeps room temp and ready to slide down my throat like a sugar coated oyster.
Mmmm, oyster Peeps.

Hot Tamales Ice

Boy, boy, crazy boy.
If you like jelly spearmint leaves, you'll like Hot Tamales Ice Chewy Mint Flavored Candies.
HTICMFC have been around since January, and just below the surface at least, taste like cinnamon Hot Tamales.
Run-ins with both Peppermint Schnapps and Crème de Menthe have put me off most things mint—with the exception of the US Mint and Mint Juleps on Derby Day (this year on Cinco de Mayo).

Hot Tamales Ice have the same crunchy outside, same jelly inside, same Hot Tamales syrupy finish as the originals. You can still bite one down to its nub and get a sugar crust with a bit of chew. HT Ice leaves you with a breezy mint aftertaste after sucking down the spotted coating.
Not as bad as I thought, kind of fun, but cinnamon still rules, especially for dumping into popcorn.

Peeps Pop Sliders

These weren't what I expected.
I expected Peeps dispensers twisting out marshmallow concentrate glazed in fine sugar. Maybe if I'd read the label.
These pop sliders measure smaller than a Pez dispenser, and harbor lipstick type hard candy.
The Peeps Marshmallow Lollipop initially smacked of toasted marshmallow, then quickly lost its taste, picking up a whiff of plastic from the container. It didn't help that invisible bits of plastic clung to the yellow sucker. Don't bite into it, because the Marshmallow Pop Slider is downright nasty.
TIP: Using the purple slider button lifts the wrapper up and off.
If you have the mind of a small child (as I do), watch out for rough surfaces when using them as a lipstick. Peeps sliders don't leave a color, but coat your lips with enough gloss to attract bees.
The two other flavors, Strawberry Cream and Blue Raspberry, fare better. The Strawberry also whiffed of plastic while retaining a slight berry flavor. The Blue Raspberry tasted like a Popsicle to the teeth cracking end. Too sweet for me though.
On the Peeps side, they're basket friendly and pass muster as a novelty candy.

Topping It Off: Sanders Milk Chocolate Fudge

Then there was the eating of the ice cream. We grabbed two premium vanillas from the Kwick-E-Mart, and cracked them open.
It was hard to get past the luscious layer of chocolate ganache on our first pint (no babies drank beer during the filming of this video), and it was the Dove ice cream that was the talk of the table.

After cleaning up the mess I made tunneling past the barrier du ganache, we (by we I mean Pam) heated up the Sanders Milk Chocolate Hot Fudge topping, and poured it on.
It got an "ummm," an "okay," and a "I wouldn't buy it." Pam and Nanci found it, in turn, too sugary, and too heavy on the caramel, wanting more chocolate fudge. I thought it was alright, but would probably grab a jar of Smuckers instead. Pam is standing by Mrs. Richardson's.
Once again, my parents snarfed up the leftovers, loving every drop. My mother said it reminded her of the corner drug store of her childhood.
Post Script: The Sanders Cinnamon Pear Caramel was the hands down winner of all the Sanders products, and immediately got yoinked from the table and sent to a dorm room in Milwaukee. The Dish regretfully moved on to other sweets before posting that video.

More Caramel or More Teeth?

Here's the video from the Chocolate Caramel taste test, a thinly disguised excuse to play with iMovie during the latest weather.
The three of us agreed it could use more caramel, the baby abstained.
Verdict: Delicious

Sanders Milk Chocolate Caramels

A pleasure to bite into, I ate most of these caramels before our *panel got a chance to.
Sanders Milk Chocolate Caramels are full flavored with a generous glob of caramel making them worth the chew.
I tasted dark chocolate, which is drizzled across the top and sides, the others tasted only milk chocolate. I didn't like this accent because I don't like dark chocolate, which I'm working on.
The best part is the mouthful of rich, soft, and addictive caramel.
Sucking the chocolates down to their savory caramel center was a treat, especially when you've got all the candy.
Sanders Milk Chocolate Caramels would be welcome anywhere, except maybe Jenny Craig.
*Three middle-aged women and a baby

Sanders Dark Chocolate Peppermint Patties

Sanders tells us they're known more for dessert toppings than candy, but our panel literally spilt down the middle (see video) during a recent taste test. We sampled Dark Chocolate Peppermints Patties and Milk Chocolate Caramels, then Milk Chocolate Hot Fudge and Cinnamon Pear dessert toppings. One topping and one candy prevailed.
Most of the chocolate covered caramels went missing before arriving at the test kitchen. Okay, I ate all but two, but we're talking about the mint patties now.
Neither Pam nor Nanci cared for the Dark Chocolate Peppermint Patties, and I didn't like them much at first, especially compared to the caramels. We all agreed they were heavily imbued with peppermint, and Nanci, who apparently has a thing for Junior Mints, found them too large. Pam couldn't taste the chocolate, and she wants to taste the chocolate.

I found one of the mints sitting in a wax bag next to the computer a few days later, and was better able to appreciate the icy filling and thin dark coating. It seemed like more of a refreshing breath mint this time round. I'd eat an even larger one, and think they'd go well halved in a dish of ice cream. All but the few we sampled were eaten within 24 hours (I'm guessing less) after leaving the box with my parents.
I thought the patties a creamy mint tonic that grew on you, Pam and Nanci thought the peppermint overwhelmed an oversized candy.

Meanwhile...

While I'm cooking up that chocolate fish and sorting through digital photos from the last taste test, have a look 'round Chocoblog.
Here's why I love it: today they talk about Chocolate Heaven Chilli Lips. Not enough? Okay, they're British. And if the countless references to Ab Fab don't tell you, I'm a bit of an Anglophile. There, I said it.
Bonus: Dom also talks about Tim Tam biscuits (Kit Kats with a chocolate mousse filling—what would be the equilalent?) and makes an Aussie joke about "yoghurt " and culture. I'm not sure why I find Brits joking about Australians so funny.
Note: I found the new Flake video, from the 2-15 post, easier to watch at Cadbury.
Meanwhile, meet Payton (as in Walter, not Manning), one of our cutest tast testers.

This just in...Dom says the Tim Tam post was written by an Aussie (see comment).