Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Twelve Days Of Chocolate

Elysia ChocolateDay 1 Gefüllte Milchschokolade: Elysia German milk chocolate with orange filling and a little alcohol
So, Ralph Pierce of the Boo Pierces stuffs this 3.5 ounce bar in my already bursting candy sack. Does that sound as obscene (and confusing) as I think it does? He likes this chocolate bar because it's a decent candy for two bucks, which, if you like to buy imported chocolate, is a bit of a deal.
I will say that one row of this sinister candy sent my recently perfect blood sugar level one point over good at a poorly timed check up. So that should count for something.
The orange filling smacks you in the taste buds and is almost overwhelming. I didn't have a clue it was one of the fruit liqueur filled Elysia chocolates until by the process of elimination, I figured out who makes it. I think. Hey, whaddya tink dis is, Milwaukee, I can barely say "Are you from the Apple Store?" in Spanish.
The orange filling is nicely tart, the chocolate is a little too sweet and not what I think milk chocolate should taste like—in other words, a little cheap and waxy, you know, like American chocolate.
Elysia Milkchocolate With Orange Flavoured Filling is okay; perfect as a gift for those who don't appreciate good candy. Ahem, you know who you are. Maybe you don't, but you wouldn't be reading this anyway so the hell with you.
Dis German bar yah hey is a good price, imported, whaddya want?
A good choice for Day 1, it can only get better. And more expensive.

5 comments:

Uncivil said...

Jeeeesh! I'm getting fat just reading your blog. You've got me craving chocolate now!

I still can't get the image out of my brain.

I'm talking about "Ralph stuffing his 3.5 ounce bar in your candy sack"

German chocolate porn?

Deeze eez very Kinky!

Uncivil said...

LOL!!!!I don't blame you if you don't post my last comment but I couldn't resist. See my profile....."sometimes down right vulgar!"

I know what part of my anatomy your thinking about sticking one of those Pez dispensers now!..LOL!!!!!


You started it "obscene (and confusing)" LOL!!!!

Jeanna said...

German Chocolate would make a good porn name or genre. How about Candy Sack, Johnny Sack's pudgy daughter. If they ever make a Sopranos movie, I'm writing a letter.
Chuck Norris does dispense pain, after all, though I'm not sure the fist under his beard smacks that way.

Kaige said...

That reminds me, I need to pick up at least one of those chocolate oranges. Tacky, but a holiday tradition.


Mmmmm... chocolate.

Uncivil said...

You are sweet as Milk Chocolate Darling, and always have the greatest come backs!