Thursday, May 08, 2008

Horse Dancing

Soft Now and LatersThis post brought to you by the Disappointing Flavor of Now and Later Soft Taffy Candy,
The Soft Candy That's Hard To Eat


Before stumbling across Eunice's, the Crawford County GOP, and emergency vehicle traffic, I followed this sign

Men On HorsesHorse Dancing NEXT 2 MILES.
I was bleary eyed, road weary, trail tired, and knew it was time to turn around. But I couldn't. Even when I saw what my Sox visor had done to my hair.

Very bad hairFrightening, no?
While in search of the six legged mambo (does that sound dirty or is it just me?), I remembered a few equestrian moments from my past.
There was the time that even though the "tamest horse we got" ran away with me on its back as I screamed "Whoa, please, whoa," it was better than getting stuck with the "farting horse" like my grade school chum Kim Hocking.
Everyone was too busy laughing to help me. Including the horse. Apparently unfamiliar with the term rein it in, it tried to bite me when I attempted to do so.

Horse campingAlmost every road sign intrigued me. Did the horses dance with neckless bald men, then camp? Were scorched cans of beans eaten with giant sporks around the campfire? Were there farting horses, banned from the ranch due to excessive bean-eating flatulence like the scene in Blazing Saddles?

I was getting closer to an answer. Wait, did this mean horses park there, or is it a park for horses? Did they have horsie swings? Oh no, they were banned in '95 (bastards) and I was regressing.
Then there was the time I was horse rumped against a stall in Sparta like I was in the trash compactor scene from Star Wars. Talk about buns of steel. A horse has more power in its ass than Mariusz Pudzianowsk on PCP.
You da man, Mariusz.
The Tootsie Fruit Rolls were out of reach as a defensive move, and all I had were these lousy Now and Laters I'd brought along for a photo op. One which could have turned a cloudy frigid day into a hot steaming nightmare. Less on that now, more later.
I say lousy, because the fine people at Now and Later struck out this time.
Struck out looking.

Now and Later squaresThey're too soft to be considered chewy. The Banana ones are on the point of disintegration, and almost impossible to remove from the wrapper. Although I was initially eating the Banana Softs like Jeff Goldblum eats sugar. My body must have been craving Yellow 5.
The Apple and Cherry squares come closer to classic Now and Laters, but STILL.
Maybe I saw horses camping, maybe I didn't. I never saw the itinerant chocolate lab again, but I followed him until I ran into this

Water color road

14 comments:

lisa marie said...

If ther are Horse Parks there must be Cow parks or life would not be fair. Maybe you can find one of those next time?

Uncivil said...

"Well......I'll tell ya pilgrim.......ya can get on your horsie...and ride outta town"
I'm saying that in my best John Wayne impersonation!!!!
Huggs ya curly cutie!
Hmmmmmm.....Curly, Larry, & jmoe

Uncivil said...

I'm trying to learn to bark with a rebublican accent now!!!!!!
BTW...I'd rather be a male rebublican dog than a male democratic ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nanny nanny boo boo!!!!!!

Jeanna said...

Cows are people too! I'll keep a look out for ya, Lisa M.

C said...

Fantastic post, Jeanna!
BTW, Jimbo left you a comment on one of my posts that I was unable to comprehend. I think I'm going to have to Google this John Edwards' gel he's talking about. LOL!

C said...

K, nevermind. I'm an idiot. Nice one, Jimmy! LOL!

Jeanna said...

Ha, James, I remember trying to make that ver' same joke in middle school. I didn't pull it off. Maybe that was the problem, ar, ar.
You already bark with a republican accent. Put that pork barrel down, boy. No, not on student aide. Bad dog. Hey—what are you doing to Senator McCain's leg? The hell with it, at his age...never mind.

Jeanna said...

Don't tell me our boy is goin' into politickin'!
How's the house full of guests, C.?
Just got back from a multiple birthday bash and am ready to crash.

jodi said...

but...they look like Starbursts!!All soft and squishy, and horribly bad for your dental work...

Jeanna said...

If it makes you feel better, Jodi, I'm sure they are horribly bad for your teeth, just not as bad as classic Now and Laters. They are nothing like Starbursts in taste or consistency.
One of our taste testers (Bug) ate most of the pack without comment. Or chewing. But I prefer a Now and Later to pull out your fillings and make you pucker.

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

I am cracking up imagining horses sitting around the campfires eating beans with sporks & farting...where's Gary Larsen when ya need him?!

Jeanna said...

Hey Olga, I knew I shouldn't have thrown out those Gary Larson desk calendars. How's the clean up going?

C said...

Oh my gosh! I was just cracking up over here, reading the banter going back and forth between you and Jimmy! Too funny!

I'd rather be a male rebublican dog than a male democratic ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nanny nanny boo boo!!!!!!


I <3 you, Jimbo! You are too funny!

Jeanna, the house is still full of guests. Some are leaving on Sunday and some are staying for another week or so. With my grandma here, I feel like I've gained a zillion pounds! She is always cooking! For an 88 year old woman, she sure has energy! She's teaching me how to make her special leche flan tomorrow. Good lord...my husband is going to gain weight! He already told me that he's gained a few pounds since we got married! LOL!

I wanna hear more about the birthday celebrations you had!!!

Jeanna said...

You're so lucky to have a spunky granny who makes flan, C. Wish mine were around. My mom is 83 and announced she will no longer cook a thing. It's been some time since I've even seen her put cereal in a bowl.
You two are young and active, I think some granny love (that's food, James) can only do you good. I smell the cookin' from down here.
I'm doing the birthday chronical in installments, going backwards. Kind of how things have been lately. Last night I lost my keys for the umpteenth time and the other day went through the car wash with my back window open.