Sunday, November 02, 2008

Halloween: Time To Kill

Remember a few posts ago when I was all "Enough is never enough?"
Well I was downtown for hours, most of them spent waiting on my cousin to drag his sorry arse off the couch, out of the shower, and away from the mirror while I made friends with the indigenous peoples of State Street. Enough really is enough after all. Needless to say I had a lot of:

Time To KillHolding with that sentiment and without further ado, it's the
First Annual Parent's Night Freakfest Awards
with our hosts Jamie Lee Curtis and Matthew McConaughey.
Take it away Jamie.
Hello everybody, here we are in the lavish–arrgghh—eeeeekkkk— flumpp

Matthew McConaugheyWell alright, alright, alright, thank you for that chilling intro, Jamie Lee.
First I'd like to take my shirt off for the ladies (zip). Oh my goodness, I said "shirt," didn't I? My bad.
On to the awards. Is it truly chilly in here or are my butt cheeks tighter than usual. Check out those silky buns of steel, y'all.
How fitting that our first award of the evening is for:
Best Backstory
Pet Toy And the winner is...Discarded Pet Toy

Shirtless McConaugheyNot to worry, little guy, I was just kidding, I'm taking off my shirt (rip).
The next costume is based on one of the deepest movies of my generation. You know it, you love it, pass me a Zagnut, it's Beetlejuice.

Winner of A Movie Couple That Nobody Dresses Up Like Which Is Weird Because They Totally Should:


The Maitlands

Adam and BarbaraMaybe you should take that shirt off, Adam. Or is there room for just one set of bodacious ta-tas on this stage? What do you think, Jamie Lee?
~gurgle~
And speaking of dark, have you heard the rumor I'm going to be the next Dark Knight, a rumor I started myself. Yes I did.

Best Dark Knight Costume Worn By A Slightly Inappropriate Person
Nurse HarveyNurse Harvey Dent (that's what his name tag says even though who could forget Heath Ledger's gams?)
The glasses, and I'm going out on a limb here, fake yellow teeth, are a nice touch, compadre.
This next recipient is on the right track, but needs a couple palm fronds and some serious thigh wax to kick it up a notch.

Best Baby With Hairy Legs
Still in diapersSome College Kid In A Diaper
It's time to insert what, Jamie Lee? I see darlin', well enjoy.



Alright, alright, alright, thank you crazy old street singer. Which leads me to my personal favorite:
Most Likely To Be Arrested.
That's not funny, compadre. Well, maybe it is, anyone care to partake? I'm talkin' about you part with your weed, and I take, son. Yeah.
The costume for Best Weed goes to:
WeedThe "I Only Burn On Weekends, Dude" Dude

Oh right, oh right, oh right. The award for:

Most Likely To Be Arrested
DroogGoes to the guy getting arrested, Alex From A Clockwork Orange

Honorary Most Likely To Be Arrested
BreathalyzerThe "Blow Me" Guy
Moving right along.

Best Costume Seen Through A Bar Window
Hockey Puck GuyThe Guy With The Hockey Puck Through His Head
Just two more to go, I promise. I'm standing on your what, Jamie Lee? Sorry darlin', we'll straighten that out later. This next one is a write-in from our blog host.

The Costume Most Likely To Be Worn By My Nephew, Andy
Condom dispenserCondom Dispenser
Very nice. And practical too. And our last award of the evening, one we can all relate to, the award for the....drum roll, please:

Best Job Of Standing Upright
DrunksA Couple of Drunks
That's it, drive safely, get some fresh air, and don't forget to vote.
How you doing, there, peaches—looking goood. You still dating the drummer from Spinal Tap?

23 comments:

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Thank you! I was just thinking how I missed the crazyness of Madison Halloween. You put me right there!

jodi said...

wow, the couple from beetlejuice looked SO real! And the breathanalyzer guy, I cracked up :) Cool pictures!

lisaschaos said...

I love them! I really liked the breathalyzer! :) Would have loved to have been there if I didn't feel like a zombie. :)

Jeanna said...

Hey Green Girl, part of me still feels as if I am there, you know like when you get off a treadmill or playground turn table.
I like your shoes.

Jeanna said...

Hey Jodi, I'm surprised I haven't seen more of the Maitlands over the years. They were perfect.
Yeah, the "blow me" boy and his chums had a whole spiel. It was amusing considering I'm probably older than their (collective) moms.

Jeanna said...

Hey Zombie girl, damn you have an early miserable cold. I'll put the rest of the photos on flickr over the next few days so you can pretend you went to Parent's Day.

C said...

OMG!!! First off...I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! :)

Miss me, Jeanna?? ;p

LOVE the photos! I'm so bummed I missed Halloween this year! How depressing! Halloween is one of my favourite days of the year!!! Hubby and I usually go all out on Halloween!

This year it was spent on hospital bed rest. I did receive the parcel you sent in the mail. Thanks sooooo much! The one I have for you hasn't been sent yet. I'll be in hospital until the little one is born. Maybe another 2 to 4 weeks? HOPEFULLY longer though! We've got 13 weeks to go!

I'll catch up with you later :) XO

Jeanna said...

Of course I missed you sweetheart, and my love and prayers are with you. Yours is the first blog I went to when I finally cleared the first layer of crap off my computer desk and found the plugs and such.
I hope it's longer than two or four weeks too. As long as you and junior mint can hold on, eh?
Meanwhile, I'll get on putting the rest of the photos up on my flickr space and you can pretend that you're there.
Can you email me and give me your hospital address?

C said...

Sending you an e-mail now :) Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts.

I was thinking about all the roller coaster rides we've had with this pregnancy and the journey to getting the little Junior Mint here. (Ha! Junior Mint! Love that! LOL!) I wonder if all of this craziness is an indication of what life will be like once Junior is "out" OR if Junior is getting everything out of his/her system early and will end up being the most well behaved baby ever? LOL! Wishful thinking? ;)

Uncivil said...

How many times did you bob for apples in the Obama Kool-Ade?
I bet you were singin' "Come, Mr. Tally Man, Barack Obama"
"Daylight come and McCain go home"!

Uncivil said...

But I'm singin'

Day-O, day-o - day-li-light come and Obama go home!
Well, I'm workin' de voter booth all night long -
day-li-lght come and Obama go home. Hey!
All-a de Rebublicans sing this song -
day-li-light come and Obama go home!

Uncivil said...

It's 6 votes, 7 votes, 8 votes, Bunch.......A pitiful bunch Barack Obama

Jeanna said...

I think Jr. Mint is going to be a barn burner. Hopefully not literally.
So taking over Jimmy's team, sounds like the perfect way to pass your time, no?

Jeanna said...

No, I was singing "Show me the way to go hommmmmeeee."
I worry about how you're going to take the inevitable defeat, I mean I'm still mourning Hillary and the Democrats are finally back in the White House.
Wish I could buy you a drink tomorrow, but then you might do something stupid. Like vote for Nader.

Unhinged said...

Hah! When I first saw this, I thought maybe you'd gone to the West Hollywood Canival...

You had a sugar high going on for this entry, DIDN'T you? LOL!

I loved it. I monkey-bark laughed up, down and inside out! Thanky.

Jeanna said...

Hey, Unhinged. I think I've had enough sugar for many more weeks of sugar high.
West Hollywood Carnival, eh? I spent way too much time down there buzzing around like a honey bee (with a camera).

Uncivil said...

Tell me I'm just having a bad dream. Oh, well...I took all the McCain-Palin stickers off my truck and minivan today. Took the signs out of the yard too!
I need one of those huge Kool-Aid pitchers to put in the yard!

Jeanna said...

Has NC been called yet?
Maybe you can become Sarah Palin's stalker. Would you like that, sweetie, sure you would.

C said...

Jeanna, darling! Where the heck have you been? :) Hope all is well over in Cheese Land. I'm wearing the t-shirt you sent me :) Someone asked me if I'm having a girl because I was wearing pink. I ALMOST found out the sex of the baby in yesterday's ultrasound, but resisted. Hubby doesn't want to know and if I find out, I KNOW I will NOT be able to keep it a secret from him! I'll be getting an ultrasound every 7 days for the remainder of this pregnancy, so hopefully I won't cave! LOL!

Miss you, sweets! XO

Jeanna said...

Hey C., trying to tire myself out so I can sleep at night which has become increasing difficult not knowing where rent is coming from and all. But the good news is the eviction notice on the door was for my neighbor. The looney one who may have been trying to steal my laundry.
I was thinking of starting another Web site called "White Noise." Or possibly "White Space" and maybe leaving it blank. What do you think?
I think I'm eating way too much of this sale halloween candy, but how can you resist half price (and less) candy?

Jeanna said...

P.S. You almost found out, eh...you'll find out soon enough if you don't already suspect. Glad you go the shirt and it fits. Take a photo if you can and maybe we can do a joint post (now I want one).

C said...

Tee hee! Will do :) I'll get Hubby to take a pic when he comes to visit this weekend.

I cried and cried the other night when he said that things were so busy and he absolutely couldn't come and make the 6 hr drive to the hospital. Then I think he felt badly and he does worry about the baby and me being so far. The final result is that he is coming. Just for the night though and then he has to return to the island.

I have been thinking of you the past few days. Wondering if everything is okay. I'll talk to you soon, Jeanna. The not knowing where the rent will be coming from is pretty scary. Glad you haven't fallen off the face of the planet though. You had me worried when you were quiet for a few days. I guess pimping yourself out or selling pot aren't high up on your list for how to get money for rent ;) Okay, that wasn't funny.

Chat soon. Luv ya.

Jeanna said...

Hey C., I laugh every time I read you think something is wrong cuz I'm quiet for a few days. Man, I must be a loud mouth. Actually, I think my kindergarten teacher wrote something to that effect when I was five.
Hey, I'd sell whatever I had if:
a. I had anything to sell
b. Anyone was buying
I'm glad John is coming, but six hours is an awfully long way. It's just a test of strength all around isn't it? Just remember you are loved.