Monday, March 23, 2009

Paradrawers Lost

Margaret over at Mama Drama found a pair of tidy whities in the parking garage at work.
That in itself is noteworthy because no matter how you spell it, a guy is going to drop his drawers any damn where he pleases. I'm surprised there aren't crews in orange jumpsuits scraping them off the highway like road kill.

Undies on a stickWhile Margaret offers a perfectly rational explanation, I see the garage undies featured in the opening credits of a David E. Kelley dramady called Legal Briefs. Whaddya know, there actually is a show called Legal Briefs.

Cold Stone Jelly Belly beansCold Stone Creamery Ice Cream Parlor Mix Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
If you were hoping for edible underwear (look no further than Amazon), this is as close as it gets.
The ice cream flavors are Chocolate Devotion (very good, tastes like a chocolate soda), Mint Mint Chocolate Chip (excellent and refreshing), Apple Pie A La Cold Stone (a most excellent bean tasting strongly of cinnamon), and the lackluster Our Strawberry Blonde (blah, and what does that have to do with either ice cream or candy).
Great in an Easter basket, but keep away from little kids because they come in an ice cream cone shaped container with a semi-pointy bottom.

Speaking of which, the question Margaret asks is: What explanation would you give if someone knew you shed your undies in the parking lot?

Wonka Hoppin' Easter NerdsWonka Hoppin' Nerds (note to Nestlé, your Wonka Web site sucks, and not in a good, everlasting gobstopper kind of way)
If Vanity Fair starts shooting underwear models draped in candy, you'll know where they got the idea.
Before I answer the question, I found these Nerds while hip hopping down the bunny trail at Tarjé where they've become a major candy contender. You can pour out a handful and convince yourself that the colors make them taste even better, but can you really make Nerds taste better (aside from Nerds Rope), even nestled in a pair of bloomers? No, no you can't, but I encourage you to try.

Wonka Hoppin' Nerds As for my tale, I'd lie poorly, making everyone think I was covering up something far jucier. I'd act nervously and keep changing my story, dropping subtle hints to the observant and suspicious that I'd had sex with the cute UPS guy half my age while they were forwarding emails of corgis in hats.
I'm hosting next Monday, March 30, when the topic will be Easter Baskets: Share a story, is it better to give or to receive, what would you like in yours?
Sign up now, throughout the week, or wait until this Saturday when I'll start compiling a list.
Who would like to host next week?
Feel free to enter my m&m's Giveaway Contest, rules in the post below.

34 comments:

Hootin' Anni said...

The UPS guy? Awwww, come on. There just HAS to be a much more virile dude in the garage than that?!!! Or at least one from the office complex that may have some more income who will treat you better than a package?!! [kidding]

I wrote a song! Come over...and bring your best singing voice.

Happy Fun Monday.


PS---sign me up for next Monday.

ChrisB said...

Great post *legal briefs* very funny.

♥~♥ Tracey ♥~♥ said...

Love the "Legal Briefs!" And the candy pics. I will play along next week...sign me up!

♥ watching them blossom said...

Funny! Love the "Legal Briefs" ....I wonder if there would be a stripper dressed as a lawyer walking through the parking garage ... who dropped his legal briefs!! This is my first Fun Monday, stop by and say "hi" if you get a chance!! And sign me up for next week!

lisaschaos said...

I bet you already knew it, but did you know we have a Jelly Belly Factory up here? We just discovered it last weekend. :)

Undies everywhere? How odd men are. I found a shirt this weekend, maybe it belongs to underwear-less-man?

Jeanna said...

Hi Anni, nothing like the luxury of a UPS truck, and not from any office I've ever worked at—I shudder just thinking about it.
Hey, I'm marked "fragile."
First a cup of tea and I'll be over.
Consider yourself signed up.

Jeanna said...

Thanks Chris, I can't believe that's already a TV show.
Hi Tracey, I have to work in the sugar somehow, and the white undies made a nice backdrop, maybe I'll use them again--will sign you up.

Jeanna said...

Will do, Blossom, I can see the story of your stripper dressed as a lawyer unfolding on a David E. Kelley episode somewhere.

Jeanna said...

There is some candy related fun fact about a Wisconsin factory buried deep in my brain, Lisa, but I can't say for sure it's that one.
Thanks for the info, did you go on a tour and eat lots of candy?
Maybe the naked man needs a pair of socks, I see those everywhere.

Faye said...

Sex with the UPS guy vs corgis in pointy hat e-mailing? What's a girl to do? Vanity Fair may not be shooting candy-themed models but Next Top Model did a week or so ago. Yep, watching this show is just wrong--like The Bachelor. I still do, how about you?

And, please sign me up for the Easter basket edition of Fun Monday. A week to get clever--thanks!

Jeanna said...

Hi Faye, I watched one season, too catty for me, reminded me of high school (and that's just the judges).
Draped in candy were they? Now that you mention it I saw an ice cream shoot--looked cold.
Will add you to the list.

margaret (the misanthrope) said...

HAHAHA!!! Ok, this was brilliant. I must say that I had a difficult time following along, what with those pictures of candy that you kept planting in my path! And I see you are also a faithful shopper at Tarjjjjay (I like your spelling better though)! Easter is rife with candy-licious temptations...I discovered Reese's Fudge Peanut Butter Eggs and thought I had died and gone to heaven *sigh*

Oh, and the actual undie-loss story was fabulous too :-)

Jeanna said...

Thanks, Margaret, I have many misanthropic tendencies myself.
I need to be faithful to the alleged reason for this blog, which is an addition to, I mean love of candy.
Fudge peanut butter you say, I wonder if that's different than the ones we get every Easter or I hadn't noticed the fudge part. I'm not a big Reese's buff, but I do enjoy their Easter eggs.
I may very well add that to my Easter candy review list, thanks.

Sayre said...

Love the "Legal Briefs"!

Hmmm... edible undies? I got a pair of those at my first wedding shower - but no one ever ate them. We opened them but they were so plastic-y that they weren't very appetizing. And they didn't smell like anything. Oh well. That was nearly 30 years ago - perhaps they've improved since then???

go ahead and sign me up - I'll come up with something!
Word verification: cysto

jodi said...

okay, someone said, "fudge reeses eggs", at target? I have to look for those, and those azuki bean kit kats? That's on my list for the next trip I make to Ranch.

Jeanna? You're having *hushed silence* sex with the UPS kid? Do tell, you know I have to get my inspiration somewhere. Wanna be in a short story?

Y'know? It's funny, but I see socks everywhere, sort of like shoes? One shoe here, one shoe there...but tightie-whities? Why not boxer-briefs?

btw, my daughter wanted nerds in a box for Christmas, but I couldn't make the bows stick.

Mama Drama Margaret said...

You've made me hungry with all this candy!!

Thanks for playing!

Rayne said...

I've never imagined a corgi in a hat before.

Jeanna said...

Hi Sayre, the ones I linked to are watermelon flavored gummy undies and sound quite tasty.
Will sign you up. Use "cysto" in a sentence w/the first and last word beginning with "m" and you're in the contest.

Jeanna said...

Hi Margaret, thanks for the fun topic. I make myself hungry with all the candy I have to look at.

Jeanna said...

I don't know about those Kit Kats at Target Jodi, are you getting info on all those Japanese Kit Kats from Jim and Cybele? They are truly the king and queen of candy bars.
You crack me up; you're kind of my hero you know (shedding tear and reaching for handful of pastel m&m's).
I haven't seen many briefs hanging on wires or lamposts, but I've seen plenty of underwear, hats, and even cigarettes on this one fence where I used to live downtown.
You mean actual, live nerds with bow ties, or the candy?
Oh, the UPS guy, sigh, there was this tow truck driver back on one of our notorious blender nights...but when you say UPS driver around here, you think small town murder. That would also work, I see an outline coming on.

Jeanna said...

I can imagine the hat, Rayne, but can't imagine they'd for one minute like it.

Gattina said...

Hahaha, legal briefs, too funny !

Uncivil said...

You found my drawers? I've been goin' commando for weeks now!!!!!

Jeanna said...

Is that cuz of all the bbq and alchyhol, James?

Patience said...

Sign me up for Fun Monday for the 30th!

C said...

Yum, yum, YUM!

Jeanna, I've got a secret talent I haven't told you about yet. It really is quite impressive (at least to me it is! LOL!). If you blindfold me and make me do a taste test on Jelly Belly Jelly Beans, I can tell you what flavour I'm tasting. Works 100% of the time. Okay, maybe 99% of the time. Now, that's talent, isn't it? LOL! ;p

Word ver: merde
HAHAHA! That's "shit" in French. Clearly, I have way too much fun with these word verifications! ;p

Jeanna said...

Will do, Patience.

Jeanna said...

C, that is quite a talent, have you ever played Liar's Poker w/Bernie Bott's?
I think I got one mixed in w/the Cold Stone beans the other day, ear wax perhaps.
Very nice! Wow, excellent word ver, now use it in a sentence (the m&m way).

hulagirlatheart said...

Sign me up for next Monday, please.

Jeanna said...

Consider it done, Hulagirl.

jill said...

I'll play Fun Monday next week with you. Mm chocolate bunny. my word verification is maupeted, which I take to mean as 'what you get when you use a muppet as living room flooring--maupeted' --whatever. anyway...Can we sign up to host for 2 weeks ago? I might give the day after easter a try. I haven't hosted and it's probably my turn after all these weeks!

Jeanna said...

Done and done, Jill, and thanks for hosting the week after next, I'll mention that you want to host April 13, the day after Easter.
Great word ver, sentence, and definition. Very funny!

C said...

Sentence for word ver:
"merde" (aka "shit" in French).
Merde! Me thinks M&M Bunny Mix would be da bomb, yo! Mainly because the package is cool. Nothing says cool like M&Ms dressed up as Easter bunnies! Who could ask for more? :)

Yeah, that really sucked! Jeanna, that was more of a paragraph than a sentence. Gah.

Jeanna said...

If I thought you really liked candy, I would have already sent you some, C. Sorry I missed your comment until now, I saw it and think I answered you on another post.
All this grinding out a car deal has drained me dry.
Look who I'm talking to about drained dry.
Same deal in Spanish and Italian or similar, and that is BIZarre you got that word ver.