In Honor of Cookie Week

In honor of National Cookie Week (beginning in two days), here's a photo I wish Carol from Perth (that's Australia you cheds) could Willy Wonka me from her kitchen down under. This scrumptious specimen was made and photographed by Carol on her blog Oh For The Love Of Food!
I ran across the baker as I was doing what I do best, kvetching, in this case about a blog spammer to a few foodies. Is there a name for that? Spogger? Blammer?
But I mean look at this cookie! Yousa. I love macaroons, reminds me of the old man and a crunchy childhood.
Carol made them from a Veronica's Test Kitchen recipe―there are a LOT of talented bakers online. Their stuff is more like art than the dog food I burn in a cheap oven. Which reminds me, did anyone see Glen Close eating dog biscuits on a rerun of Conan? Hilarious. From personal experience I say avoid the doggie breath mints.

In The Dish: Sour Grapes

Okay, so Nitronea Nanci has been telling me about sugar and acids you can spray directly on your teeth.
Candy sprays, according to someone at Walgreens (says Nanci) "take up less shelf space," so they like them. The 4 inch pump sprays don't exactly jump out at you, but apparently the kids like them as much as Walgreens.
Easy to hide during class and assemblies (take note kids) and can be sprayed on your hand for a lick later. Your dog will like that, well, maybe not judging from Roscoe's reaction (he smacked his lips like he was eating peanut butter and finally licked it off on the other dog).Stay tuned for an upcoming Dish Panel Review to see what delicious flavor (if you can't tell by the color and title) these lads are testing to elicit such sour expressions. Can you guess who said it was their "favorite" flavor?

National Cookie Week

This is from last Thanksgiving's "vegetable" table. A chocolate cornucopia filled with more homemade chocolate from James J., decorated cookies from Scotts, and the mandatory vegie platter barely visable in the background.
I pulled out this photo because The Candy Dish got mail claiming that National Cookie Week is November 18-24. Another way for the company to hawk their wares, or seven more reasons to eat cookies?
I couldn't find anything backing up that claim, but here are a few other days, weeks, and months of interest:
National Candy Month (June), Bubble Gum Day, National Licorice Day, National Waffle Week, National Bundt Day, National Frozen Food Month (really?), National Fig Week, National Soul Food Month, National Fresh Breath Day, Solo Diners Eat Out Week, National Flossing Day, and why not, Diet Resolution Week.
They're all from the same calendar and sound more like one of those creative writing projects we got in high school: Write a short story in the first person using all of the above events. Actually, the person who writes the winning short story (or run on sentence) with all of the events from above will win a wonderful sugar item from an area shop.
Back to National Cookie Week...Here's a site that says October is National Cookie Month. The Topeka Capital-Journal agrees. So does the Food History Calendar. What do you think?
Note: That orange, yellow, and green frosting on top of the chocolate frosted turkeys are its feathers. The photo doesn't do them justice.

Ear, Ear, What's All This Then?

This Gummy Body Parts Comment just arrived in the dish:
"My daugther got the teeth and the ear for halloween, But the ear, when turned upside down, looks like female parts. I don't thing these things should be sold to give out to kids at all."
--Conserned Parent
I don't remember the bag of body parts I found at Walgreens being nearly that interesting if you know what I mean wink wink nudge nudge. Damn, not an ear kooch in sight. Plenty of severed feet though. Maybe the kids around here are already familiar with that body part. Life on the farm and all.
What do you think? Halloween fun or time for "The Talk?"
Thanks to Josh McCormick for use of his flickr photo!

Toffee Caramel Hot Chocolate Mix

Burning your tongue on a large mug of Toffee Caramel Hot Chocolate is a great way to wind down the Halloween season while watching Carrie and remembering how you screamed the first time you saw that Oscar winning hand grab Amy Irving.
This way-too-sweet drink comes from Pelican Bay LTD courtesy of the World Market, now in Middleton's Greenway Station—is it a shopping center, is it a railroad station?
The mix is wrapped up as an ice cream cone (full of dark and white chocolate, marshmallows, milk powder, nuts, and toffee). They call it a "snow cone," I call it compensation for not being able to trick or treat without snide remarks.
One thing you may not remember from year to year is that the marshmallows and whatever other sugary bits of excess you want to toss in your Wizard of Oz cocoa mug should be consumed as a solid. It's a texture thing. You get to make more of a gooey mess that way, it tastes so very much better, and becomes almost unbearably sweet if you let it blend into a tepid brown liquid. And like the Wicked Witch, hot cocoa topping melts quickly, especially when slurped near a fireplace or castle torch.
As much as I like the idea of a piping hot chocolate sundae with nuts in a mug, there's no beating this Candy Lover's Hot Chocolate recipe from Scharffen Berger.

Happy Halloween

This was going to be about a Halloween packet of hot chocolate I found at the World Market. Then it hit about 70 degrees, yes, the end of October, in Wisconsin, 70 degrees. Talk about frightening.
So I ended up watching my cousin's flag football team in Pine Bluff and came across these delightful items mounted on the wall behind the bar at the Red Mouse (formerly Kit's Korner)—where the bartenders couldn't be nicer. What says Halloween in Wisconsin like masked deer mounted on a sports bar wall?

From The Mailbag: Gollum Boy

Answers to Questions From The Mailbag:
• I meant the kid to the upper left in the photo, he was sitting on the ledge near the exit for outdoor seating at State Street Brats. Busing tables, pretty spry, and quite polite.
Let's hear it for the Minneapolis SWAT team. Way to loosen up with bottles of Corona, boys. At least you weren't drinking Corona Light. (The cute cop on the left reminds me of my godson.) Here's what the real MPD look like.
Unfortunately my Reno 911 and Hot Fuzz photos didn't turn out.
• I don't know if I will be going out for Halloween this week to take more photos. I'm sure there'll be something going on, but nothing like the night before and day of Freakfest.
• My favs were The Cat Lady from The Simpsons and the incredibley odd Tree Gnomes. Oh, and the Dick In The Boxes.
All my photos from The Night Before Freakfest are up now.

Buzz Buzz

Maybe this isn't a Sugar Buzz, but it's some kind of buzz: Freakfest 2007 unofficially began on State Street last night with the stadium lights blazing (the better to take pictures with) and the Orwellian disembodied voice both welcoming and warning us in the same creepy breath. We glued ourselves to the barstools outside State Street Brats until about 40 minutes after my camera battery died. Oh the pictures I could have taken! We'll see if I can make it to the insanity of the actual event tonight.
A shout out to the bartenders, brat guys, and even the spritely bus boy perched Gollum-like on a ledge near the side door at State Street Brats. It was yummy blue green instead of blood red shots this year, and even yummier bartenders named after the shots they served. Think Surfer On Acid.

I suppose it helped that this is Homecoming weekend (we're playing Indiana rather than one of the local high schools like last week—the score was 27-3 in the middle of the 4th when I posted this). Because I promised perfect strangers I would, here is a link to my flickr Halloween on State Street 2007 photos. I'll be adding more over the next few days.

Gummy Body Parts

Unwrapping a gummy body part is like unwrapping cheap air freshener in a dorm room. There's too much packaging and it reeks. Not unlike dirty underwear in a garbage bag (or body parts in a body bag), Gummy Body Parts are best left wrapped in plastic. Instead of a rolling up a wet towel, shove a bag of these sick puppies under your dorm room, hotel room, fill in the blank room door.
Roscoe, the sick puppy poster boy, has my cousin Phil looking for something to keep the beast from eating things (like an extra large homemade pizza cooling on the counter) not meant for dogs, Steelers fans included. I think surrounding the perimeter with a few Gummy Body Parts will do it. Although they smell vaguely like pineapple and Roscoe here loves fruity hair care products...
I'd rather listen to the Dual-Action Cleanse infomercial the morning after Dollar Taco Night in a communal bathroom than have a heaping helping of Gummy Body Parts (35 Calories, No Fat, 5mg Sodium, 8g Carbs, 5g Sugars and yes, 1g Protein per part). I dread to think what they look like plastered on your colon wall.
The best way to eat a body part is quickly. That way you don't have to smell them and it's over like a flaming shot, though scarier.
The teeth are a little easier to force down because they're smaller, or thinner, or maybe it's the idea of teeth eating teeth. Wait for the right moment to have fun with that concept.

Horror Gummy Tongues

The China made Walgreens Confectionery Lane Horror Gummy Tongue tastes like sugar coated fruit roll ups. There's not much more to say about these semi-creepy organs except the plastic vampire teeth they come clamped in are a nice touch and there are two in a pack weighing 2.5 ounces. They're thick. Thick as a brick. They taste as if they should be healthy (or used for chimney repair) but in reality, not so much. There is some citric acid pressed in among the corn syrup, gelatin, and pectin, but it's no surprise that something which uses "Artificial Fruit Flavor" as a selling point also contains: 110 Calories, 25g Carbs, and 18g Sugar per tongue. And say "hello" to our friends Yellow 5 and Blue 1. "Hi der."

Nanci, cousin and Candy Dish Man Ray, described her tongue simply as "Ich."
Much more interesting than the Horror Gummy Tongue is a Web site called i-mockery.com and their Two Months of Halloween celebration. They found a far cooler gummy tongue over there (Alberts Gummy Candy Tongue Ghouls, the second tongue shown via the link in the Llamas entry) as demonstrated by a cute but scraggly young man wearing a paper Gedney pickle hat, fangs, and fly goggles. We'll call him "Rog."
Hoorah for you, I-Mockery's Halloween Grab Bag. I'll tell you up front, their Ultimate Guide To The Halloween Candies of 2007 is far better than anything we'll come up with. But I'll be taking plenty-o-Freakfest 2007 photos, and this year be bringing enough cash to keep warm. I'm already thinking of the tantalzing tray full of red shots which circulated through the Brat Haus beer garden last year.
Mmmmm, red stuff.

Llamas and Such

It was bound to happen—I've got too much sugar in my diet. And the Sahara is a little sandy. The funny thing is, I'm supposed to give up milk and juice, but no one said anything about candy. And don't eat too much fruit they tell me. Then the nurse says something to the effect of, "I don't think that will be a problem for you."
So I reported her to the Italian Dairyman's Association and they stuck a box of decapitated cheese cows under her pillow.


I went to the Mount Horeb Fall Festival in search of Norske sweets anyway, and just as my cousin (pictured above) called and asked between groans (she was listening to the Badger game) if I'd seen any llamas and I asked her if she'd been drinking (a safe bet for anyone who shares our bloodline) there they were. The weed face below is named Kiwi. Is there no escaping the evil grasp of fruit?


I was too depleted from the lack of sucrose and 86 degree October weather to continue my search for Norwegian sugar, but to celebrate the new diet I traded in my bag of Craisens for a bag of gummy body parts from Walgreens. They're nasty and taste of citrus (again with the fruit). I've had a nose and a few eyeballs that look like this photo, but I haven't been able to take any pictures of my own—laziness, a life laced with a little too much crazy, I and won't talk about my hillbilly neighbor who daily hoses off her balcony and ruined photos I was trying to shoot. Let's call her Britney. Coincidentally her "K-Fed" "moved out" recently, although he's not above the four day weekend booty call. You didn't hear it from me.
And speaking of gummy body parts, a quick search brings up a Sour Patch Chewy Candy Tongue—which now I must have—mango Crazy Hair, and a game called "Eyeball Splat." Maybe I can have some Crazy Hair if I don't drink my milk.

Sugar Buzz: Twee & Luliloo Mooves On

After only three years on upper State, the Hammond sisters are closing shop in search of greener pastures.
I'd interviewed the newly minted entrepreuers just after they opened in 2004, and was heartbroken to see them sweeping up the dusty remains of their broken dreams yesterday afternoon. Okay, that's a bit much, but I hate to see another local business uprooted, especially after the evil empire across the street scattered the likes of Dotty Dumplings to the wind, aka N. Frances.
T & L was empty except for a few wooden barrels of salt water taffy and hard candy, with the odd unsold box cowering near the window. The glass counter that once held expensive chocolate was barren, and the fat jars that lined the wall with festive bulk candy were gone forever. I got all verklempt when I saw that naked wall.
Aside from Candinas, which moved somewhere on the square near the old Badger Candy Kitchen, there's a gaping sugar hole downtown. Wait, that doesn't sound right.
Where are the Badger Candy Kitchens, Karamel Krisps, Moon Fun Shops, King's and their incomprable deep fried Pizza Frenchies?
WHERE?
Nice try Twee & Luliloo, we barely knew ye.

Who's Reading?

Gourmet Candy Corn - Phooey!

I suppose the Cheeseheads who paw through my candy dish on a Football Thursday, Sunday, or Monday would like these colors. Except for the orange, a color I don't normaly allow in the house. And wash your hands, all of you.
Don't get me wrong, I love a good green apple, but who are you kidding with this gourmet candy corn business? And is there another flavor out there besides green apple? Is there?
Football Thursday? The NFL Network? Don't get me started. I'll take my Big Ben, Little Willie, and Alan Fanny free of charge on a Sunday afternoon the way the good Lord intended thank you very much.

These candy corns go by the peculiar name Candy Specimens and are by Galerie. Their website hurt my eyes and someone should tell them to turn their music down. They are having a clearance sale in Kentucky this October. Whoopty doo.
Meanwhile, don't wipe your frozen tundra on my steel curtain, and eat more fruit.

Caramel Apple Sugar Babies

Caramel Apple Sugar Babies look like mishapen lima beans and taste like sour bits of nasty. As often is the case, they're better sucked than bitten.
They look less gross than a lot of things you could pull out of your mouth, and although not good enough for couch potato candy, they'll do as emergency computer food. (Although the computer hasn't touched them and they've been sitting here for weeks.)

The stores are filled with the sweet, tart smell of green apple this time of year, but I'd easily pass these babies by for that old filling puller, the Caramel Apple Pop.
Caramel Apple Sugar Babies would probably make a good Halloween candy mix, but use sparingly as they have just enough weight and sour power to spit a fair distance.

Mummified Fingers

These suckers are so foul I'd like to give them the finger. I'm eating a melted Russell Stover Marshmallow Pumpkin to get the funky taste out my mouth. All I can say is, "Mmmph plrrf."
Excuse me. Target brand Mummified Fingers Candy Suckers, Calories 120, Sugars 15g, are almost tasteless, except for the taste of plastic.
These crummy mummies aren't so very bad until you bite into one. And then, the horror, the horror.
I like a sucker you can bite down into with a total disregard for cosmetic dentistry. I also like the "NOT A TOY!" reminder on the back of the package. Good thing, because they're made in China.
They might break your teeth, and taste like the packaging they come in, but they look cool and could be the perfect party favor for the right crowd.

Rolling In Sugar

One of my favorite things to ogle is pastry at the Rolling Pin. (I've also cranked up the AC in 85° weather to feast on their mushroom beef barley and pumpkin curry soups.)
Sometimes the pastry ogles back. Their chocolate croissants are sweet and tender and quite flirtatious with a giddy chocolate center. Many of their baked goods are art. ("This is art. This is soup.")
Their pink cream puff swans are so attractive (I'd guess strawberry, but with them you never know) that I'd feel guilty eating one. The watermelon and s'more cookies, a sassy pair of picnic foods, leered back at me from behind the glass, so in the white bag they went.

Sugary and thick, you have to work at finishing a watermelon cookie. Great dunked, nibbled, waved under someone's nose, or just to celebrate getting your dental insurance back, this cookie can be refrigerated and saved for days with minimal taste loss.
The s'more, well that's pure evil in a baked good. It's huge, like most of their cookies, but has marshmallows sandwiched in between not one, but two thick chocolate chunk cookies. There's a lake of chocolate coating on top.


It's a crumbly one, the s'more, and about as messy as a graham cracker. You can nibble it from the ends for days. Well, maybe two, three days tops. I'm not crazy about barely browned pie crusts or cookies, especially in something this doubly thick, but like the Rolling Pin's white chocolate raspberry (exquisite) and red velvet cookies, generous chunks-o-chocolate make you smile. And giggle. And dance around your apartment until you crash, vowing to eat nothing but fruit and raw vegetables for a week. We'll see how that goes.

Wine Gums

I found these gummies teetering between the PMS mints and the gummy bandages, not too far from the Hot Flash mints and Vertigo cookies.
Quelle surprise, there's a whole wine gum culture out there. Maynards and Pascall—what doesn't Cadbury Schweppes own—seem to be what people crave most.
Here's an interesting tidbit from the English Tea Store:
"Maynard's Wine Gums are no longer permitted to be imported into the USA because of the food colorings used in the candy. Norfolk Manor Wine Gums are made in the UK according to US specifications on food colorings."
First they steal Madonna (ta), then they Dixie Chick the Dixie Chicks, and now, tainted wine gums. What next, trick us into pretending we like soccer? We have a what now?

So, Posh Becks, Pop Specs, flop sweat, we came across a few boxes of Norfolk Manor Wine Gums at Gem City. They're oval shaped wine flavors you can pretend are flasks or bottles. Fun for the kids. I found wine gums good for watching SOAPnet in the wee hours after you've worn out your welcome on the upper end of State Street. A little weird and kind of crusty when you expect chewy, and fruity when they should be chock full of illegal dye goodness, but I liked them. Bit off the ends like Nik-L-Nips and pretended I was drinking cheap chardonnay.
They won't replace Dots or Jujyfruits, but they're warmly addictive and go well with chocolate cheese.

Clem's Mailbag: Boo Royals

Dear Readers,
A few of you curious kitties wanted the final word on the Boo "royal" puddles. Here is what that dear man Ralph Pierce wrote:
"Yes you are correct, originally the company wanted to show off it's great caramel and they decided to deposit the caramel on the nuts and allow the buyer to see the great nuts topped with the caramel so the idea was to 'crown' the candy with the chocolate rather than enrobe the whole piece of candy. Thus you have a 'royal' piece of candy of nuts, our own great caramel and topped with delicious milk chocolate."
Please enjoy this short video.

Boo Candy Puddles

I'm biting into a Caramel Pecan Puddle from the Baraboo Candy Company right now. It's got that just off the cooling rack, gooey fresh taste. The amount and texture of the chocolate is perfect, the pecans are fresh and crisp and nutty; the caramel is expertly layered, falling in thin strands with every greedy bite.
It's not a bad way to sweeten the sting of a visit to Ho Chunk.
I can only imagine how its cousin, the Caramel Cashew Puddle, melts in your mouth, but the other nut puddles ended up in someone else's refrigerator before they got a chance to melt in the clutches of the Candy Dish. Boo Caramel Puddles also come in the stunning Caramel Macadamia. The puddles that caught my eye are called "Royals," possibly because of their exposed crown of nuts and caramel. Or maybe because they're a kind of turtle candy royalty.


"Instead of fully enrobed, it's got the chocolate on the top and the bottom, but yet you see the caramels and the nuts, more so the Macadamia and the cashew are that way," says Ralph Pierce (see The Badger Claw Revisited).
Don't be ashamed to brush up the puddle scraps with your fingers—I know you want to.
For bite-size turtle candy, there are peanut covered Green Bay Puddles which come in a 3 oz. green and yellow box with the slogan "Tackle One Today!" They're good for prepackaged novelty candy, and found in the same places you'll find Badger Claws or Udderfingers. (Around here that's Brennan's and the Kelly's Mobil.)
But if you get a chance, stop by the source and get a load of what's in those barrels. You'll find the entire Cow Pie collection along the wall, and jars and barrels of bars, meltaways, peanut brittle, hard candy, and the mandatory salt water taffy and homemade fudge, all a mere cow chip toss away from the casino.
The Baraboo Candy Sign photo may or may not have been taken by my cousin, Nanci, who grabbed my camera then waltzed off toward the highway