Must There Be All These Colors Without Names: Hawaiian Punch Jelly Beans

Jelly beans are a year round thing now (thank you Jelly Belly). Bags of beans start to fill the shelves like candy canes at Christmas when Easter candy comes out on Valentine's Day.
And like candy canes, there are brand name hits and misses to tempt the overwhelmed basket stuffer.
Life Savers Jellybeans are a miss—made in Mexico, distributed by Wrigley, the Cubs still suck—but I've sampled more brand name hits. Sour Patch and Hawaiian Punch Jelly Beans are a hit.
I'm not surprised that Sour Patch Jelly Beans spin a charming blend of sugary coated tang. They're sparkly and hold up well if hidden away for later. The candy shell is a little thick, but I love the coating and overall look. They compliment their gummi namesake well.
As enamored as I am with the Sour Patch beans, Hawaiian Punch Jelly Beans are a sprightly rival.
The Fruit Juicy Reds tasted like both a tall cup of Hawaiian Punch then something less juicy, so I went through the bag to make sure I had the colors right. I'd confused Fruit Juicy Red with Lemon Berry Squeeze (see Color Key). These beans would benefit from a more distinctive color palette and a little more zip in a few of their flavors. Brach's needs a better color key than the blurry one on the back of the package.

A BETTER COLOR KEY

Red - Fruit Juicy Red
Lime Green with Dark Green & Yellow Speckles - Green Berry Rush
Blue with Darker Blue Speckles - Berry Blue Typhoon

Red with Yellow-Orange Speckles - Lemon Berry Squeeze 

Yellow-Orange with Red Speckles - Mango Passionfruit Squeeze

Orange with Lighter Orange Speckles - Orange Ocean

I found myself looking for the pleasant bite of the Green Berry Rush and the Lemon Berry Squeeze most often. The Lemon Berry especially gives you the classic Hawaiian Punch taste of childhood while suggesting flavored lemonade.The fresh citrus overtones of the Orange Ocean reminds me of a tangerine more than an orange—it has everything but seeds and pulp.
The Berry Blue Typhoon smacks of sweet sour bubble gum without being overwhelming, not my favorite, but the color stands out. The Mango Passionfruit Squeeze tastes a little odd. You can tell it's mango, but it stops short of the refreshing Orange Ocean, tipping over into the land of bland.
There's 100% vitamin C (36g carbs) per serving in Hawaiian Punch Jelly Beans. They're in a two way tie with Sour Patch Jelly Beans in the Dish Easter Bean ranking right now. However, the threat of Coconut, Orange, and Very Cherry Jelly Belly Chocolate Dips loom.

Just A Spoonful of Chocolate

The NCA's Chocolate Council sent photos and a link to The Story of Chocolate in honor of American Chocolate Week, March 20-March 26.
Shouldn't every week be chocolate week? How about every other week alternating with Gummi Week. There's a National Chocolate Council? Do they sip chocolate drinks out of edible tea cups?

The National Confectioner's Association offers information such as how many minutes of biking it takes to work off a 1.5 oz candy bar (30), and The Story of Chocolate tells you it takes two to four days to make a chocolate bar. After a few minutes on the Council's website you will no longer be interested in how long it takes to work off a 1.5 oz candy bar.

It will also tell you that the cacao tree is "delicate" and needs taller trees to shade it in order to survive. The cacao leaves themselves can move 90 degrees to protect more tender leaves from sunlight.



Cacao trees produce these pods which can be more than a foot long, growing directly from the trunk or branches sans stem. They take up to six months to ripen, The Story of Chocolate goes on to tell you. The outside of the pod varies in texture and the inside contains juice, pulp, and many seeds.
I could spoon feed you chocolate facts all day, but will leave you with the reason the pods, trees, and tree yield varieties are so Spocking fascinating.

Photos courtesy of the National Confectioners Association

Time Out With Magic Milk Straws

I love milk, I love the product, the promotional campaign, and that Annie Leibovitz photo of Whoopi Goldberg (who did a got milk? ad as well as the tub shot). I don't need a straw full of cocoa powder or vanilla flavor to enjoy my favorite drink, but it was time to stick a straw in a glass of milk and see what happened.
The got milk? product has toy overtones—watching the flavor beads zip up and down the clear straw giggles, "Happy Fun Snack Time." And you can see the flavor get stronger toward the end of the glass when the straw finally colors the milk and drips its last drop.
Not only are Magic Milk Straws a break from massive amounts of sugar in bright and pastel colors, they're suck-ready.
I had to cut the plastic open after a short battle with the five and six packs of straws, but once in, you just stick the straw in a frosty glass of the white stuff and decide if using the straw upside down works better than right side up (it does).

I found the mellow Vanilla a good opportunity to float in bananas to boost the mild flavor with a fresh fruit taste. The bananas were even better at the end of the drink and gave the already healthy snack an even healthier kick. I'm snacking on a frozen four straw Vanilla with banana slushy right now.
The Chocolate straw was oddly sweet in the way many products aimed at kids are, yet aromatic and enjoyable in a guilty pleasure kind of way. I went nuts and used two straws in a pint glass fresh from the freezer for the Chocolate Magic Straw and loved every playful sip.
Magic Milk Straws come in Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, and Cookies & Cream. The nutritional value comes from the milk, though the Magic Milk Straw website lists the straws as all natural, gluten free, low in sugar with no fat or cholesterol.
It also says "Lactose Free." I guess it's not as funny if you drink Lactaid or soy milk.

Ice Cream Flavored Eggs

Knowing that PAAS Splashed Assorted Malted Milk Eggs are ice cream flavored makes them more palatable.They're attractive enough and look good nestled in Easter grass or a candy dish. But aside from sprinkling in a few of the less offensive flavors in an Easter basket, I'd avoid them completely.
Taste better Splashed Assorted Malted Milk Eggs.
 Although the lively eggs contain cocoa powder, only the white outer, chocolate inner, tastes of the bean. Their waxy outer shell dooms even the least offensive egg (white shell, chocolate malted inside).
The malt eggs are different colors and flavors, purple with orange malted being the strongest and most unpleasant because of the overpowering orange taste. The yellow outside, cookie dough malted inside is a little milder, but not much, and the pink with strawberry inside might do for artificial strawberry lovers.
If I got stuck with these as the only candy in the house—not likely—I'd try to scrape off or strategically bite around the white egg to enjoy the crunchy chocolate malt.
Worst malted milk balls ever.

Reese's Peanut Butter Egg Hot Chocolate

The weeks leading up to Easter can be unseasonably warm or smack you upside the head with the kind of cold it's hard to ignore and not for lack of trying.
Some of us jump the gun after a few nice days in February and pack away our winter things making us think twice about leaving the car within blocks of a lake—and some of us are always within blocks of a lake. This city is really an island that gave up and opened a few falafel stands.

so I came down with what my father calls "the crud" for lack of a better and more off putting word. This particular crud was due in no small part to two flat tires in a day that ended up a lot colder and more populated with frozen puddles than it started.
I spent a good deal of it waiting around for the insurance company's roadside assistance (i.e. college kid in beater with tools) because I didn't renew my AAA and the portion of the Beltline you'd take to get to me was shut down due to flying ice. I was taking old people to UW Health between trips to Firestone Tires and it turned into the scene in Goodfellas where the doctor wanted to admit Ray Liotta even though he was there to pick up his brother.

I had the kind of day which makes the underrated Scorsese classic After Hours look like a spa weekend with free booze and Oompa Loompas. All this two days after I went a little nuts and turned a 6 oz Reese's Peanut Butter Egg into hot chocolate.
When my fever got down to a level less than that of an exploding cartoon thermometer I found these photos in the camera and it all came back to me.

I like peanut butter. I like it on an apple, a spoon, or hilariously placed on a dog's nose. I've eaten peanut butter kisses long past decency. I know Reese's Peanut Butter Cup fanatics. A healthy dollop of peanut butter all but bursts through a teasing top layer of chocolate surrounded by accordion shaped Hershey's milk chocolate in a 1.5 oz cup.
The thickness and shape of the chocolate do matter.
This beast was so overpowering on both the pedestrian Hershey's chocolate and peanut butter fluff front that my only choice was to scrape out some of the peanut butter, break the egg (not so easy), and toss the whole thing into a pan with milk.
And it was delicious. Make it like any other candy bar hot chocolate. Here's a video that uses Dove, it's similar to that.
So no to the ponderous and insanely difficult to break 6 oz peanut butter egg and yes to the sweet, smooth, and slightly salty Reese's Peanut Butter Egg Hot Chocolate.

It's hard to go wrong with a gummi (that's a very interesting link).

These Trolli Gummi Bunnies, out long before Easter, are cute and tasty enough while losing some detail because of size, shape, and color. Let's face it, not many of us are going to be checking, but kids are into color and there's enough of a rabbit and pretty colors for almost anyone. I like the white ones best.

Trolli Classic Bears are some of my favs, and I know a few aficionados who foam at the mouth for Peachie Os, yet these gummy rabbits are heavy on the fruit flavor and taste a little powdery.

Even so, they're fine and fun and will go over well in a large basket, individually in a plastic egg, or as a single Easter treat.

Looking over Trolli's website, I realize I've never tried their Sour Cherry Bombers, about five years late on that one, but why does the package say "New?" 

I'm grabbing stuff off the shelves early this year and revisiting staples suck as Reese's Peanut Butter Easter Eggs, although not a big cup fan. I'm trying to build a virtual Easter basket which will include crowd pleasers and things that go well in a plastic egg.

Stay tuned and for heaven's sake brush your teeth.

Back To (Easter Candy) Basics: Cadbury Mini Eggs

I was surprised at the response I got to this quick pic I took at the State Street Walgreen's on Saturday (friend the Dish on Facebook to see comments from February 20).

It seems that people like Easter candy.
I've got great memories of baskets and until recently made some pretty elaborate ones.
First up and ahead of schedule are my favorites from the Basic Basket Building category: Cadbury mini eggs.

That ugly salmonella business in the UK aside, Cadbury is one of my go to chocolates. Although not a chocolate snob, and admittedly less skilled in the subtleties of the bean, I heart cocoa.
The Mini Egg shell seems a little thick but easily wears down. If you suck it will it not melt?
The disintegration of the candy shell is a very pleasant experience. The color stays while the shell thins and breaks apart allowing you to crunch the candy and savor the chocolate.
There's an almost sharp taste which muscles Cadbury chocolate. The kind of sharp which makes sharp cheddar better than mild, the kind of sharp which says I'm a little richer than normal, but not overwhelming. It says I might be milk chocolate, but I have personality too.
Another reason I like these eggs is because you can put them in Easter grass or use them to fill colorful plastic eggs. They don't melt easily in nature, and can be man handled by adults and children without dire consequences. They're a crowd pleaser and like jelly beans and the Peep, building blocks for any Easter basket.

Chocolate Cream Hearts

I love the idea of a Valentine's Day cookie. It's not as messy as chocolate and you can do a lot more with decoration. They work well in February heat waves (it's 42° right now) and this kind of swelter could shock a box of Wisconsin chocolates.
The Chocolate Cream Hearts were next to the Mini Marzipan Jewels, but can't compare.
This is a heavy creme filled monster that is best eaten like an Oreo. It's difficult to take a civilized bite out of the thing en masse, but is still fun to eat and boasts a fluffy cocoa filling.

It doesn't, however, compare to the blend and balance of the Marzipan Jewel. This didn't taste like a fresh or well preserved cookie, the icing was just all right, and the candy heart on top was a horrible bit of stale sugar and food coloring.
But it would be fine dunked in pieces and the chocolate creme center was a bulls eye.
It won't stop me from buying bakery at Clasen's, which not only has great samples (the blueberry coffee cake they had out is still on my mind), but boasts more hits than misses.
Wonder if they'll be making King Cake this year.

Pastry Is Sugar Too

Today's search for interesting and delectable Valentine's Day candy took me to a bakery. And not just any bakery, Clasen's Bakery.
There I found these.

These gems are Clasen's Mini Marzipan Jewels. They're double stacked and sport a sticky sweet glaze and a generous fruit center. I don't know if the red violet fruit is raspberry or plum, but I do know it's the perfect amount of something.
These heavenly hearts taste distinctly European, and the possibly plum jam compliments the sticky almond marzipan crunch to perfection. They're light in appearance and substantial in taste.
Clasen's Mini Marzipan Jewels have changed my mind about marzipan for ever.

Why Not Ju Ju Hearts

Don't make me drag out the Gummi Pyramid.

It was nice to find candy outside a heart shaped box in the Walgreens holiday aisle today. Who knows what's lurking in those boxes and how long they've been lurking. If it were the kind of chocolate you'd want to spend money and calories on, I don't think it'd be wrapped in cardboard and plastic. Would it?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

But be still my faded gummi heart, I found a container of Ferrara Pan pink and red Ju Ju Hearts on the top shelf begging to be photographed in 5 degree weather. You know the name, it not only represents some of the best anytime candy—Grapeheads, Cherryheads, Lemonheads, Red Hots, Jaw Busters, the sassy Atomic Fireball, but keeps reminding me that you come across some of the best candy at gas stations and hardware stores.

I'd put these Ju Ju Hearts (3 for $4.00 at Walgreens) up there with Uncle Oinker's Gummy Bacon and Haribo Sour S'ghetti, they're that good.

They look cold. Cold, but delicious. I'm going to have one right now.  

It's a satisfying chew without jaw dislocation. The red hearts have just the right amount of something vaguely cherry and the pink could easily be strawberry. 

Some of them even sport tiny little swirls of the opposite color. Bonus.

I love these gummi ju ju hearts, move aside chocolate (unless it's the really good kind).

My Funny Valentine

Valentine's Day might not be the number one candy day in the U.S., but it's in the top three so where is all the fun and delicious candy?
I think a lot of it has migrated to the Interweb, but you can't get a schmear online (although I hear Steve Jobs is working on an Oompa Loompa app).

You can always find something if you go a hunting down the stores, and I found this set of bars to contain an inoffensive, passable milk chocolate. It smells too sweet out of the wrapper, yet bites easily with a soft crunch.
Also from Tarjét, these are prettier than the Man Bars. They also taste better than you'd expect with a smooth and mildly interesting flavor. They only sell in gift packages of four.
This chocolate may not be afraid of commitment, but you might fear the 270 calories per bar, 150 of which are Fat Calories.

Note: I've been spending some time on Evelyn's Corner, the blog I started for my 85-year-old mother, so hop over there if you've had a sugar overload. I see some canned tomato recipes in the near future.

Man Candy

I thought the Valentine's candy season would be a good time to reacquaint The Dish with our friend, the cocoa bean. But there was no help at my favorite seasonal one stop sweets and sundry shop, Walgreens, so I went to Targét.
But even in its usually fecund rows, mediocrity and apathy had taken root.

What finally caught my eye were three unassuming selections classified as Man Bars, this being the most interesting and the other two a few steps away from a brown paper bag and some string.

Although this is not what I think of when I hear the words "Man Candy," Target's Dude milk chocolate pushes the boundaries of sweetness, yet is surprisingly smooth and palatable.
I was also impressed by a Sell By date of November 2011 (while being fairly certain this is not a good thing).
I had a few Micky D's fries left in the bottom of the bag (I'm not proud of this) and was surprised by how well the two went together. Yes, like a fine lager, The Dude hints at diverse pairings.
There were little bits of broken chocolate which make the bar look like it's got a case of white bloom, but this bar didn't have anything like degraded cocoa crystals or crystallized sugar, bloom traits. 
Note to Target Brands, Inc., would it have killed you to get the rights to Jeff Bridges image?

Good Enough To Eat

That's a weird and possibly disfunctional little saying when you think about it.
If you can't eat it, it's not good enough?
Well, maybe, take that fine art, monster truck rallies, and the second Golden Age of Television.
It's a saying I grew up with, but never thought much about until my cousin Jackie, craft master and Dish Taste Tester, reminisced about the Candy Christmas Trees she used to make while her grandkids were growing up.

"It looks good enough to eat."

--Several Members of My Family

I needed a project for a video class I was taking in a van down by the river, and Jackie seemed happy to resurrect the ritual while taking an assist with the tree.
We never got to Final Cut Pro voice overs in this class (or lighting or tripods or stabilzers or uploading video or how to use the software or figuring out who was in or teaching the class) so I threw it against the wall to see what stuck--now I'm hungry for pasta--and here it is.
Enjoy.
 

Making A Candy Christmas Tree

with Jackie, Phil2, Bob & Jeanna

Another One Bites The Dust

All the Jack-o-lanterns have been washed down the river (except the ones at my house which have a tendency to rot)

All the scarecrow ghosts have taken their vows (looks like a shot gun wedding)

All the mechanical pink dinosaurs have eaten their fill (I think this one's bulimic)

The witches have haggled their last Farmer's Market eye of newt and the birds are flying south (they're actually flying north, stupid birds)

What are you looking at, toss out the pumpkins and bring on the turkeys (live ones work best)

One final brrraaa hhaaa haaaa until next year.

A Post Script for Mary R. and John I. who's thinking of 50 Ways To Leave Halloween.
⚈Throw Jack in the falls, Paul
⚈Marry the dead, Fred
⚈Eat all the gourds, George
⚈Cast your last spell, Mel
⚈Fly the right way, Jay
⚈No evil eye, Guy
Just listen to me.

Favorite Costume

Although I've been taking Halloween photos on State Stree for a few years now, this costume might be my favorite. It was pretty touching for a college kid ensemble. Do you know what it is? (The file name doesn't tell the whole tale. Pun.)

Favorite Halloween Gross Out Candy

One of my favorite gross out candies this year was a tray of Sushi Eyeballs with green apple dipping sauce.
I was surprised how popular they were in a crowd that turned noses up at a severed foot wrapped up like a steak (A Butcher's Choice Tender Cuts Chuck's Foot to be exact).
The green eyeball sauce was a little sour and a little bland adding nothing to the taste, but I loved the presentation.

The eyeballs were palatable enough for larger gummi candy, and I remember thinking I could watch a movie quite happily with a few Sushi Eyeballs and a bowl of popcorn.
Good for you product sold at Walgreens and made in China.

And thanks to Dish taste testers Karen and Bug for trying them. No complaints from either who munched away during a college football game, despite what you might gather from this photo. Check out the lady and the kid in the background.
The sauce was very sticky, so have some wipes handy and a place to toss the whole mess when you're finished.

Ritter Halloween e-Card and Candy Raffle

Although the Off Color Things My Italian Family Said Contest on the Dish Facebook page is over, there's still plenty of Halloween fun left.
Because the ad agency rep sent me this link on a Monday morning when I'm procrastinating and the sun is trying to peek back out after a weekend of rain (and I'm still verklempt from great Packer and Steelers games and a Farvrah beat down), I will play their little game and share this Halloween e-card thingy you can use with your webcam or digital photo with you.
Good timing, Vincenzo The Viral Factory Seeding Manager. Seeding Manager, love it.




Have fun and look for some of my favorite photos from Freakfests Past this week.
If you want to see the contests results and be there for the next one, sign up for the Candy Dish Curtain Facebook page, "We Friend Everyone."

Brilliant! Blood Slide Candy

When I followed the link from Sweet Obsessed to Waylou to forkable I found the brilliant mind and steady hand behind these Dexter inspired candy blood slides. Naturally I asked to do a shout out. Funny story, these were originally inspired by Martha Stewart lollipops.

Shout—you are the goddess of creepy candy Andrea Newberry—Out. You know, I find the edible serial killer trophies more elegant than creepy. Andrea made them last year and is a bloody treasure trove of macabre treats. She told me today that she's working on a "rotten and bloody lasagna" recipe for this Halloween.

In a Nutshell (or slide box):
This recipe calls for sugar, corn syrup, red food dye, parchment paper or a baking mat, and a toothpick or skewer to paint on the "blood." You're making candy, spreading it thin, and cutting it with a hot knife. Then you cool it and decorate with red dye.
Andrea had trouble finding a fancy wooden slide box like Dexter Morgan's, but I think this slide kit container works well. She suggests serving with tweezers or latex gloves.
Oh man.
For the step by step on this sweet bio hazard click here.

Andrea also has a Halloween Bootcamp at the Forkable Kitchen in Chicago on October 16 from noon - 3 pm. The Halloween Treats Baking Class includes Crunchy Eyeball Bars, Witches Finger Cookies, Ghosts on a Stick, and the inimitable Blood Slides. The class might be full by the time you read this, but why not check it out here anyway.

More Temptations From forkable
⚉ Bloody Cracked Brain Cake
⚈ Eye Deal Cannibal Cookies
⚉ Marshmallow Ghosts
⚈ Mexican Aniseed Shortbread Finger Cookies
⚉ Frightening flickr set

The photos, idea, and Blood Slide Sucker recipe belong to and are courtesy of Andrea Newberry and forkable.

James J. Moves to Midvale

One of my favorite candy stores, James J. Chocolate Shop, moved to their new location at 1310 S. Midlvale Blvd. last week (Monday was Day 5). They were putting up Halloween garland and other  finishing touches when I stopped by to see if they and their peerless gourmet caramel apples were there and accounted for. They were.
You could be standing in front of the new shop and miss it. Or at least I could, but then again I've stood directly in front of a place while asking passersby for directions.
Where Is It?
It's around the corner from Dorn Hardware and  Le Tigre, down from the Chinese restaurant.
Look for Yen Ching restaurant at the end of Midvale Blvd at the top of Nakoma Rd., it's before you turn the corner toward the hardware store. There's also a small sign on Midvale, also hard to miss in all the traffic on that corner by the Beltline.

Be Still My (Gummy) Heart

So you thought I wouldn't eat it, did you? I tried to pass off this Monster Lab Gummy Heart With Candy Fluid on more than one occasion. I think it was a little too Temple of Doom for some of the Dish taste testers—wusses. I bet the Duck Creek Kids would have eaten it.
Bob here was pretty interested.

The first bite was the hardest. It tasted like sour cherry, evil syrup, and plastic. The heart juice, blood sauce, whatever it was, dripped heartily (hardee har har) inside the bag and and stuck to my fingers like an all day sucker. It didn't help the taste that I'd just brushed my teeth.
I was surprised that this was a big ol' solid gummy, thick and daunting, especially after the promise of candy fluid. There was enough detail to give this Halloween treat an A for disgusting believability.

I'll tell you one thing, I have virtually no information about Monster Lab candy except that I can't imagine even the most munched out among us finishing this particular item. I don't believe it's affiliated with Palmer Monster Lab Body Parts. Anyone?
Guess I'll have to forge ahead and try everything in the Monster Lab line being carried by Walgreen's for Halloween. I will literally keep you posted.
A weird note, Gummy Body Parts have gotten difficult to find unless you want to place a 5 ton order with mainland China. When I reviewed them, I got one of the funniest comments. ever. I'll guess this sort of complaint along with its rubbery air freshener taste and the lead and melamine scare is why they're not readily available.
Thanks to Jackie (who downright refused to take a single bite out of the gummy heart) for the use of her camera [top photo] and taking the last photo of me holding the nasty thing.

Bitten Heart photo on bottom by Jackie Clementi