Friday, December 26, 2008

From The Cheap Seats

Santa hat JMOThank you for the festive hat, Olga, what a wonder (bra) you are.
Happy holidays, and before you ask how mine are going, don't ask.
I hate the holidays, my sister hates the holidays, my mother really, truly hates the holidays, and most of my cousins hate the holidays as did their mothers before them.

Little KathyGrandma Farino battled sink squid while slinging pasta and antipasto for cigar chomping, poker playing, moonshine making Italians with little thought of sitting down anytime between Thanksgiving and January 2nd. I doubt she got to nibble so much as a tentacle, let alone sneak in a much needed bottle of Metaxa. Although there was that week we lost her to the wine cellar, but I digress, this being a post about

Christmas Movie Releases
On The Cheap

Gabe 1) Buying a $5.00 ticket before noon is an excellent way to embark a full day of movie watching.

2) Writing down show and running times is as important as planning the correct snack to movie ratio. These days you can use the glow of your cell phone to double check running times instead of grabbing the mag light off your bike and that cheap light up watch you took from your parent's junk drawer.

3) If you bring a child, they must be able to sit through multiple movies and have a high tolerance for sugar and Icees. It helps if they wear baggy clothes with many pockets.
Andy, aka Guido (left), could never sit through a single movie, Disney be damned (not literally, don't want to inflict the wrath of The Mouse).

Andy,Chris Christopher (right), who ate nothing but Italian bread and Skippy's until he was 19, was a more suitable candy mule. Joey fared well with waves of people in motion, which may be why he joined the navy.

Plan Ahead
Buy multi functional Christmas cookie decorations. Forget the fondant, buy Dots, Snow Caps, and Red Hots. In other words, use movie candy to decorate your holiday cookies, they look and taste great, and will survive the end of days.

Leftover candy
Using snack sized plastic bags, I was able to stuff this and more into a purse no bigger than a poodle's head. Plastic soda bottles can be refilled with water or a friend's never ending big gulp, and are better than cans (which can spill or leak into your coat pocket).

The Trifecta
Both of the main features I saw (Doubt, Benjamin Button) and the *bridge movie (Slumdog Millionaire) may be the best out there. They're the only ones (besides Gran Torino in limited release until January 9) I wanted to see. Any one of them are solid movie going choices, but for brevity's sake (yeah, too late) I'll take a look at my favorite.
There's a ready made audience of lapsed Catholics for the thought provoking Doubt, and of course it stars Meryl the Peril Streep (The River Wild). I would bear her children...somehow, if possible.

Snack bagsAnd every time I see Philip Semour Hoffman (Twister) I'm impressed. Just watched Charlie Wilson's War (also starring Amy Adams). Impressed.
Love Amy Adams (Night at the Museum 2), and always want to hear her sing and be poignant, but she only has one exceptional moment here—one of striking clarity, but in comparison to the two leads, incidental.
John Patrick Shanley (Congo, Joe Versus The Volcano) wrote the 2005 Pulitzer winning play on which the movie was based. Shanley directed and wrote the movie's screenplay (he also wrote Moonstruck)—good for you John Patrick Shanley.
The movie explores the possibility of clergical advances toward an isolated altar boy, and questions Streep's unshakable certainty, one's place in the world, and the politics of the Catholic church.
Is it me or is Streep channeling Olympia Dukakis. Oh, she's not dead?
It's the acting which stands out and although Adams and more so Viola Davis are fine, the scenes between the iron willed Streep and the soul baring Hoffman are the heart of the film. That I do not doubt.
See it and bring snacks.
*A movie which bridges starting and and ending times between movies you plan to see in their entirety


  1. I loved "Charlie Wilson's War". Even bought it, waitin' to get it back from a friend.
    Check out "Mr Brooks" w/Kevin Costner. And check out Jodie Foster in "The Brave One". And I liked Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto" if you don't mind reading the captions. It was filmed in the Mayan tongue.

  2. I'm so sory you hate the holidays, especially since there are so many days of them! Is it still OK to wish you a happy and prosperous new year?

  3. Oh yeah!....I totally agree on the holidays....they totally suck!!!!
    I used to always wear my cowboy boots to the movied theater, so I could sneak in the pony beers! Talk about cold feet!

  4. I loved Mr. Brooks, YoJimbo, but as much of a Foster fan as I am, that one bit the bullet.
    I've had a type of Woody Allen backlash to Mel Gibson (ironically enough), so didn't see a movie that sounded like work.
    I'd love to see those pony beer boots, James.
    Liked the last three out of four DVDs I rented.

  5. Hi Pam, it's the Thanksgiving to New Year's string that kills me. Or just about.
    Thanks, and the same to you.

  6. Holy crap, I'm an adult (most days) and I doubt I'd be able to stand watching multiple movies at the theater. I'd revolt and pelt you with the rest of my Snowcaps, woman.

    Unless the movies starred Keanu Reeves, that is. Otherwise I could happily pant in darkness for hours.

  7. Well, you wouldn't have to stand, U.H.
    It helps to like to sneak into things.
    You'd waste a Sno Cap?

  8. Yes, Keanu Reeves.

    And I would waste a SnoCap (crap, can't believe I misspelled it the first time) if I had more in the box. Now if I had MilkDuds, there'd be no way. I love me some MilkDuds.

  9. I used to chuck green Juju Fruits at the screen when the movie was too bad to keep quiet about. But then they changed the flavor and I couldn't do it.
    Okay, dude, didn't he just do some big budget movie where he was a most excellent alien?
    Matrix 3 sucked.

  10. *sigh* Looking at the photos reminds me of all the things I have in a parcel that has been waiting to be sent to you...since BEFORE I went on hospital bed rest and before the baby was born and hospitalized! Ummm...That's over two months ago!!

    Hopefully we'll be home soon and I can finally send off those goodies to you. I miss you!!!

  11. You think of yourself and the wee one, first, damnitall, woman.
    I hope you can get home soon and forget about all that nonsense with your well meaning friend.

  12. Yes, Matrix 3 sucked (REVOLUTIONS and yes, I own it, even though it sucked because I love me some Neo).

    And yes! Keanu is in the remake of the movie THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL. I'm waiting for the DVD...

    My fave Keanu film, besides the first Matrix movie, is SWEET NOVEMBER. He was so very, very sweet in that movie. Caramel-sweet, baby.

  13. I liked the way his coat moved in The Matrix.


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