Lactose Tolerant

In case you didn't know: June IS Dairy Month

Testers' Take
Babcock's Grasshopper ice cream wasn't for Jackie, she's not a mint ice cream or bug eater. Grasshopper is still available as a regular flavor according to the Dairy Store's Online Menu, which should be almost completely ignored. You must go there in person, fighting all the over achievers in the lake shore dorms for Badger Camp.

Bug's granny didn't like the School of Medicinnamon either, although she described it as, "A piece of coffee cake in the morning with ice cream on it."
And what, may I ask, is wrong with that? Toss on a hunk of Asiago cheese with a malted on the side and I'm there.
The Double Scotch was too butterscotchy for her, and she wanted her double shot cut with vanilla ice cream.
She thought the Cotton Candy tasted like "ice cold cotton candy," making it sound so good I forgot how much it really sucked.
None of the adults liked the Chocolate Cookie.
Last seen eating: Three scoops of Pineapple Cake ice cream instead of her morning egg. She says it tastes like my mother's cheesecake and a banana split. Both excellent breakfast foods.

Karen Didn't like the Grasshopper, Cotton Candy, or Chocolate Cookie. She found the first two smacked of artificial flavors, claiming Roscoe wouldn't eat the Cotton Candy off the floor. (I've seen him eat cigarette butts out of an ash tray to get to pizza crust.)
The Grasshopper was over mintified and the Chocolate Cookie was just too much, but Karen loved, loved, loved the School of Medicinnamon.

She also loved the Pineapple Cake which reminded her of Italian ice, only creamier.
The Double Scotch was just the morning pick-me-up Karen needed when I burst in all adrip with BGH. She even tasted coffee in her double scotch. Good for you, Karen.
Last seen eating: A bowl of Double Scotch.
Bug said, "It's too hot for ice cream."
He did, however, shove an entire roll of blue raspberry bubble gum tape from the Island in his mouth and later come lurking about with an empty bowl ala Oliver Twist.
Kids these days with their Rock Band and their Blu-ray and their bowls of gruel.

I don't know about you, but we were brought up to eat ice cream for breakfast. Maybe that's why Bill Cosby's Chocolate Cake For Breakfast is so funny to the lactose tolerant crowd.
Last seen eating: Chocolate Cookie ice cream.
MIA: Raspberry Cheesecake

In The Test Kitchen

Back From The Dairy Store

June is Dairy month and the Dairy Store Ice Cream menu has melted. The June Menu at Babcock was less than descriptive, and they've already mooved on to July. BGH and warm weather? Here's what I took home from the June Menu:

Chocolate Cookie
Ice cream sandwich pieces in chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce
Overkill? Perhaps. It was too rich for the elders, although Vince and Bug seemed to enjoy it.
Two out of five udders





Double Scotch and Cotton Candy
Butterscotch ice cream with butterscotch sauce and spun sugar colored pink then frozen
The Double Scotch was my favorite. Great name, simple concept—butterscotch sauce in butterscotch ice cream. It reminded me of Butter Rum Lifesavers hidden in a sear sucker pocket.
Four-and-a-half udders





The Cotton Candy ice cream effected the weather in the back yard. A front from the steamy morning air and Roscoe's breath met frozen pink sugar, forming a light fog.
I don't think anyone but Jackie (Vince, Bug, and Roscoe's granny) liked the cotton candy, it was too bland and sweet. I'll check the footage and get back to you.
Half an udder





Grasshopper
Leftover blender drinks from the sixties and ice cream sandwich pieces from the Chocolate Cookie ice cream
I didn't care for it, and Bug was the only one who claimed to like it. I think because of the name.
Half an udder for you, Grasshopper





Pineapple Cake
Pineapple cake flavored ice cream with pineapple pieces
This was the ice cream that drew me to the Dairy Store on a Saturday morning. It was disappointing, missing the citrus bite and large pieces of cake I wanted. Karen and Jackie liked it, will post more from the taste testers later.
Two-and-a-half udders

Raspberry Cheesecake
Cheesecake ice cream with raspberry twirl and cheese cake hunks

I don't know what it tastes like because someone, Zach, forgot to stack it in the pile with the six other flavors I had him spelunking for. I'll be seeing you soon, Zach.





The School of Medicinnamon
Cinnamon ice cream with praline and caramel swirls
Karen and I loved this premium cinnamon ice cream. Pralines offset the lightly spiced cinnamon; something to snack on while you gorge. Somehow, the swirls of caramel weren't too much. Yum.
Four udders

This menu is dedicated to Sam, Nitro Nanci's Brittany Spaniel, one of the sweetest lap sitting, door-to-door treat scrounging pups to fetch a ball.

We'll miss ya, boy

Sam photo from Nanci and the Sam Collection

Roscow

New Flavor: Dog Nose

Cow Gum From The Island

What's dispensing from that cow's butt? Why it's blue raspberry bubble gum all the way from Manitoulin Island and the effervescent Chrissy.
From the Bubble Mania Barnyard collection, this little plastic bovine didn't produce stale gum or cut my tongue or cheeks. Not those cheeks, we have a strict one butt per post policy here at The Dish.
The bubble gum tape dispenser makes a lovely conversation piece, easily moved from place to place to drive home the point, "Hey, I'm chewing something I got from a cow's butt!"
Overwhelming craving for Babcock Ice Cream taking over every fiber of being.
Mmmooo, wonder what the School of Medicinnamon tastes like, syringes and spice? How does Pineapple Cake or Raspberry Cheesecake sound?
Yeah, pretty damn good.
Ice cream for breakfast, it's what does a body good.
Yes, I'm still on a diet.
To be continued...

They Live

Rowdy Roddy Piper would be proud.
The hearty quartet are enjoying their spa vacation at Four Lakes Wildlife Center and doing well. I hardly recognized the little insectivores (teach me a word and I'll use it).

Okay, yeah, that's them.

Holy Worm Moat, Robin

Yes, I know, this is a candy blog (allegedly), but these guys were out in the spot where I take pictures of candy, and speckled malted milk robin's eggs are one of my favorite Easter treats. Did you know that Hershey's introduced Mini Robin Eggs Whoppers in 1952? Yum.
Maybe not so much with the appetite after spending a few days trying to keep these evil, I mean adorable little creatures alive. I can't eat chicken anymore. At least I don't enjoy it.
Things I Learned This Week:

Mushed up worms from a cocktail straw make a fine hors d'œuvre for an insectivore. Remember, feed them stuff they'd normally eat. Like worms. Yum.

Birds don't benefit from eating infant formula at room temperature from an eye dropper.

You do not have to jump off your apartment balcony to teach a bird to fly (thanks for that, Phil.) (photo not available) They'll do it on their own. Actually, funny story, I once had to stop my nephew, Joey, from jumping off my apartment balcony.

If you see their cold, seemingly lifeless bodies on your porch after a storm and the mother won't come around and you flash back to the first time you read Helter Skelter, you should indeed pick them up and put them back in their nest. That's a myth about how if you touch them the mother won't come back. It's like how guys with steady girlfriends are better in bed. Or if you touch them their girlfriends won't come back. Maybe it's their mothers. At least in my case. I can't remember.

And the part about having to chew and regurgitate food (again, thanks, Phil) (photo not available), not true. I think these guys would have eaten a New York strip with A-1 sauce and a side of slaw. Don't try that. Robins are sturdy and the mother was feeding them wriggly beasts the size of sandworms before the storm broke up their happy home.

Keep them warm, but not extra crispy. A heating pad on the bottom of a box (just on half so they can move over if it's too warm) will work if you don't have a lamp on top (same deal, half in case it's too warm). A nice, wide one, like a desk lamp or one of those photo lamps with a 40 watt bulb is the ticket.

Keep things quiet, they're not little drama queens.
"Cheep."
"Don't think for a minute I didn't hear that, Bryce—is that what you're wearing?"

The best thing you can do for them in most cases: Keep calling until you find a place that will take them and do so ASAP because:

Hideous creatures that they are, they deserve a chance.
People are chock full of misinformation, but there's someone out there who knows.
Don't talk about bringing them in the house, because that would be illegal.
If the bird is learning to fly, aka, a fledgling, don't spaz out if it's fallen from its nest, the parents are nearby and waiting for you to leave. So go!
You can make a nest out of Tupperware if you can't find the original one, and always use as much of the nest as you can. Add some twigs if it needs it. A little tissue if you must. Put holes in the bottom and stick the nest or Tupperware as close to where it fell as possible—away from predators. Then wait and watch.
Hatchlings may not appreciate the worm moat you made for them.
Don't freak out when the godsend that is the Four Lakes Wildlife Center sticks them in a microwave, that thare is an incubator, son.
We have an emergency animal clinic that takes in wounded wild critters 24/7 free of charge. The birds usually end up with the good folks at Four Lakes. There's probably a wild life rescue in your area.
Don't be afraid to call back to double check numbers, hours, and extensions.
Good luck guys, I'll be eating a little less KFC thanks to you.

What Lies Beneath (Inside The Milk Crates On My Porch)

What is that thing?
Between taping movies like a fiend and trying to catch all the weather, I found something quite disturbing on my porch.
No fair James, you already know.
I bet Lisa Maire does too (thanks for giving me the idea you talented little photo hound).
Guess correctly and get a video.
Yes, whoopty friggin' do,
"What? Have we got a video?"
(Gimme a character, actor, series or episode name associated with that quote and get a video package.)

High Waters