Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I Think Gummi Grits Would Be A Good Name For A Band

Gummy tapewormI'm fresh outta grits, so please enjoy this tapeworm.
Now that we know what's in my stomach, what's in my Blu-ray player?
The Golden Compass
I don't understand this film's poor reception. Even though the ending seemed abrupt, and the runtime felt short at 113 minutes, it's a well cast re-imagination of Pullman's world.
I met Phil Pullman once when he was speaking at Memorial High School. I waited for his autograph long enough to come up with my own trilogy about being pushed over the edge by waiting in line. It was more of a YouTube series like Chad Vader.
We interrupt this post to link you to Madison's own Chad Vader singing Chocolate Rain

Chad VaderSo Phillip Pullman, I asked him to sign The Amber Sypglass: "Chris, put down Harry Potter and read this book!"
Pullman gave me a withering look as only the Oxford educated English can, and said, "I would never tell a child to put down a book."
What about the Unabomber's Manifesto, Phil?
Regardless, 4 out of 5 tapeworms

One of the best looking movies I've seen in the fits of BD gluttony. Captivating story of a young girl who grows up in Iran and escapes to France. Insert French joke here. Gorgeous, funny, sad, fiercely creative. I hear the graphic novel is even better.
4 out of 5 tapeworms

The Dark Knight
There's nothing left to say about this impeccably crafted film, except see it on the IMAX because the Ultra Screen pales. And let your chihuahua wear the DVD as a hat because you must own it on Blu-ray and Blu-ray only.
4 out of 5 tapeworms

This movie doesn't deserve a single tapeworm. Despite Kevin Spacey, whom I love, it's stagnant enough to make me want the boring mess to end Sopranos style. Don't stop—black out


  1. snort, lol lol LOL!!!! I couldn't stop laughing and my kids thought I was crazy (y'know...not that I'm sane or anything...) There ARE gummi tapeworms, and they look every bit as uhm, segemented--as I thought they'd be. :)

    Only you, Jeanna. You are a true connoisseur of obscure candies.

    I have the Golden Compass. My kid says it was good. I haven't watched it yet. Maybe I should.

  2. Geez, woman, I wasn't even done posting. Got sidelined watching that hateful Soprano's ending.
    I didn't hear a single good thing about that movie and usually I'm right on the suck train. I can only guess it was confusing if you didn't read the book(s).
    No, no, I'm just a fan.

  3. That is too funny. I think Mr. Cakespy should change his band's name to Gummy Grits. You'll get full credit in the liner notes of course. ;-)

  4. I think Dave Barry and Alice Cooper are the ones who find band names in everything, but this one just seemed right.
    Great Gumshoe post, Jessie.
    Hey, let me know if he does.

  5. Gummi tapeworms? Ew! I haven't seen most of those but the Dark Knight was very good. :)

  6. Gummi tapeworms go great with vigilante movies, Lisa.

  7. Gummy tapeworms go good with everything. :)

  8. I'm not completely convinced they're not intestines.

  9. Yeah...that's the first thing I thought when I saw the graphic: that it looked like a green intestine.

    That said, Gummi Grits as a band name certainly wouldn't be worse (or less colorful) than, say, Godsmack (which I once mistakenly called Gobsmack to the delight of all).


    So, Persepolis. ...Gorgeous, funny, sad, fiercely creative... I think I'll have to check this out. (HOW sad is it, on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the biggest inducer of weepy-eye and hurtful throat?)

  10. Gobsmack sounds better. The only problem with gummy grits is that people will think you don't know how to make grits.
    I wouldn't give it more than a 7 on the weepy scale and that's for something you know is going to happen. It looked greater than great in HD.

  11. holy crap!! i just watched the chad vader video and now have to change my underwear AND fix my make up!

    thanks for the laughs!

  12. Hey Kitty, I gave the first season of Chad Vader to my Godson for Christmas and he loves them, am looking for Disc 1.5. It cracks me up that it's filmed at the Willie St. Coop.
    You're familiar with the whole Chocolate Rain phenom then.


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