Thursday, January 01, 2009


This year I vow to:
Watch more movies
Control my temper, then lose it, finally getting that mug shot I've always wanted
Hold more grudges—just because I'm old and can't keep track of things like I used to is no excuse
Use less punctuation
Be less specific
De-age like Dorian Gray while a picture of me gets worse than my present reality
Pretend to complain about turning 30
Find out where that odor is coming from
Eat more Valentine's Day candy weeks in advance
We interrupt this negative agenda for a special link from Unhinged: Toe-Food Chocolates
Give smoking another chance. You look so cool when you smoke and all the kids are doing it.
Get this post done before the night time pain relievers kiccckl ninnnn8
Have absolutely no self control when it comes to buying stupid, over priced novelty candy

GrillzIsn't this cool? You can't eat the teeth, so for a buck 75 it's a little over priced

Sour apple Grillz candyBut you can suck on this: Flavorful coglione shaped sour apple hard candy. Bonus: It breaks before your teeth do. It reminds me of Jack Black's speech in Tropic Thunder, one of the many movies I've recently rented, getting a jump on that first resolution.

Out On DVD

Only one out of the last 10 movies I rented or bought weren't worth bending down to flop into the tray. (Eagle Eye, great trailer, sub par action flick.)

Still one of my favs and recently purchased for ten bucks at Blockbuster: Tropic Thunder
My favorite line from the movie (Robert Downey Jr.): "I don't read scripts, they read me."

Also holds up but get it on Blu-ray or at least widescreen: Hellboy II

A pleasant surprise which I should have known because my parents hated it: In Bruges

I loved it, YoJimbo loved it, you'll love it too, Charlie Wilson's War

Worth another look and for some reason none of the copies I rented when it came out worked: Casino Royale. (Speaking of cogliones and if you want to know what Daniel Craig looks like nude in a chair. Rent it.)

Worth repeated viewing: The other Casino Royale, Layer Cake

Could have been worse, glad Lucy got her teeth fixed and anxiously awaiting Vogage of the Dawn Treader (I'm a Catholic girl of course I devoured those books): Prince Capsian

Not as good as I expected, but still worth renting: Burn After Reading

GuidoThank you Guido for recommending: Dexter. Love that the production designer is named Brandy Alexander.
(Isn't Guido cute, look at those little undies sticking out so fashionably. Aww, baby boy! Sleep aids kicking in.)
Why does this series creep me out when I'm not watching it with a sleepy and irritated chocolate lab in my cousin's basement: Mad Men

Stay tuned for more and number nine.
number nine


  1. Uh-huh. Methinks the meds kicked in before you were halfway done with this post.

    You find some weird candy, thassfersure. I never would've thought the tinfoil-teeth face under the hat was edible...

    Oh, hey! I wrote an entry on weird candy back in March of 2006. This was FOOT CANDY that a chiropractor had a brainfart about. I can't give you a direct link to the entry itself, but if you want to see it, scrolllll down the page until you see the wee chocolately foot graphic: So, so, suck my toe

    P.S. Yes, I love cats. Meow, baby.

  2. Um, crap. I meant a PODIATRIST, not a chiropractor.

    Stoopid voices.

  3. daniel craig nude in MY BED would be even better.

  4. Eek, and I just saw a podiatrist yesterday. He wore rubber gloves. Dang, and the last Dexter I watched concerned itself with a foot and other body parts.
    Yeah, I was nodding off at the keyboard. Much how I file stories.
    Chiropractor, podiatrist, whatever, U.H.

  5. I hear ya, bon, bon. Yum. Have you seen Layer Cake? He is, without a doubt, the best layer.
    Haven't seen the new Bond, heard it wasn't very good.

  6. Still thinking that wars have been fought and won because of toilet seats, U.H., but I scrolled.
    Will add that link to the post.
    There was a Six Feet Under ep about toe sucking.

  7. I am eagerly awaiting the Voyage of the Dawn Treader also. Love the Narnia chronicles. Aslan lives!

  8. Ya got me wantin' to see "Tropic Thunder" now!
    And I wish I had the "Showtime" channel so I could watch "Dexter"!
    I got to watch a couple of episodes at a friends house....or was that a motel?....errrr....anyway, I love the way he exterminates the exteminators!!!

  9. Hope it's better than Caspian, Pam, but isn't that one about Caspian again? Been awhile since I read the books.
    A LONG while.
    Funny, we used to write that kind of stuff on our papers at Catholic School. Blasphemers that we were.

  10. OMG, YoJimbo, you haven't? If you lived in the good part of the country (KIDDING) I'd drive a copy over to your ass.
    I can see how you'd like Dexter. I'm watching the whole first season this week. Can you tell me why it creeps me out less than Mad Men?
    It's actually kind of upbeat when you think about it. Makes you lab rats look tre cool.

  11. I told a friend that if they find the Dexter first episode series on DVD that I would go in halves on the purchase!
    I'm getting into NCIS lately? Yep...gotta love those lab rats!

  12. Totally off-topic (but responding to Jeanna's comment goodness), I have to say that I had my toe sucked once. And it about killed me.

  13. It was pretty cheap to rent from the local video store, YoJim. I'm up way past my bedtime trying to get through all the discs by Monday.
    I'm dreaming about body parts and Unhingey's chocolate foot link doesn't help the nightmares any.

  14. Killed you in a good way?
    I'm not sure there is anything as constructive as a topic on this blog.
    Did you see the toe sucking episodes I was talking about? It was with that cute tall guy with the soul patch that keeps popping up on prime time TV.


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