Sunday, May 31, 2009


The first time I drove through Burlington, Wisc. I wanted to see the town that hosted ChocolateFest. I thought I'd pocket some brochures, look around, get a cup of tea.

Chocolate teapot
I'd meant to go to the fitness center that morning, but got distracted. Then I got lost looking for a piny hiking trail with eagles flying o'er head while specifics such as name, location, and distance escaped me.

Chocolate eagle headI ended up on the very top of an oberservation tower, not a good place for an acrophobe, but a great place to look inward rather than downward, although looking outward might have helped me find out where I was.
After several more wrong turns (which by now should be assumed), I managed to drive through Burlington before ending up seated next to a glowering old Asian man on the bow of The Lady of the Lake.

Blue ribbon curds I was still in Wisconsin, so hoorah. But it struck me that I'd rather do this, roll with getting lost inside the Cheddar Curtain while munching travel candy, than find new adjectives for the words "sweet," "creamy," and "nougat."
Note: I'd like to thank Jim of Jim's Chocolate Mission for introducing me to the word "splodge" in his review of Reber Mozartkugeln truffles.
It might be worth mentioning (I'm going to at any rate) that I got turned around on the well groomed trails of Lapham Peak until I found a path of teaching tools left by a group of elementary school teachers preparing for a field trip.

LemonadeI later got caught peeing behind foliage—GCPBF—by some guy who may or may have not been a teacher. I didn't ask to see his teaching tools.

The second time I drove to Burlington was for ChocolateFest, Friday, May 22 - Monday, May 25, with carnival hours starting May 20.

Carnival rideThere were a preponderance of bare feet on the midway and rides

According to official brochure copywriter Dana Roberts, the festival started with help from the local Nestle USA in 1987.
Another chocolate company took the low road on the Hershey highway a year later, suing the city of Burlington over their new nickname, "Chocolate City." It took years for Hershey's to settle, according to Roberts.

Chocolate ambulance If this post had actually been written (rather than gathered) in May, I couldn't mention the E. Coli Warning by the FDA About Nestle Tollhouse Cookies. Take them out of the fridge and throw them away unopened. Don't risk contaminating surfaces, don't bake them, throw them away now.

They began to call the celebration by its current name, ChocolateFest, in 1998, and started to have it at the end of the month in 2004, taking advantage of Memorial Day weekend.

Chocolate top hatThere's been some interesting chocolate art over the years, including a Harley, and a bed—there's something kinky, erotic, and deliciously messy about a bed of chocolate. I don't have those photos so please enjoy this sweet hat instead.

Vince Bubbagum TattooNotice the Bubbagum tattoo
I went to ChocolateFest on Memorial Day, while Nanci ate brats and teenagers skulked on park benches. I guess that would make it (counting on fingers) six days ago. Play along with me here.
Tea party
This year's theme was Alice In Chocolateland, which I would have realized right off had my head not been in a rabbit hole of its own.

Hippie kidsIt took a few more rabbit ears,
Escobar candy
a candy bar named after one of the most brutal drug lords of the last century,
Chocolate ant
evidence of psychotropic drug withdrawal,
Love Childand a Deadhead hippie kid shining, gleaming, streamingflaxenwaxen—I didn't know if he was going to pull out a pack of Naked Papers or call me mommy—to catch a theme; and I think I caught the wrong one.
Candy wrapper wear
But the youth of south eastern Wisconsin were clothed in candy wrappers in a pageant called Project Yum-Way,

Dude chillingMonster Energy drinkers were grinding out sweet dreams on miniramps,
Horse head
there was a creepy horse's head named Henry,
and Cocoa beans and Escobars.
Chocolate covered bacon
But these, two luscious pieces of bacon splodged with chocolate, were the Holy Grail of ChocolateFest. I'm thinking the many candy vendors would dispute this. Do you understand why having a candy blog may not be the thing for me?

More from sulky teenagers forced to eat chocolate covered bacon—what, you thought I was going to eat it—and other disgusting treats from the bottomless bag of Expo candy after a lovely post from my favorite Kanook, Chrissy.


  1. Chocolate covered Bacon?
    I had a craving last night.
    Could that have been it?

  2. Are you sure you're not pregnant?

  3. Yeah, I could eat chocolate covered bacon under my bacon lampshade!

  4. I think that would look great in your trailer.

  5. I think my SIL has tried chocolate covered bacon. I shudder at the thought, but I do like chocolate covered pretzels, and they're similar right? Salt, sweet, some fat? Mmmm.

  6. Nah, J., not at all, but then again I made my nephew and little cousins eat it, so I can't say for sure.
    Blech, although I've always wanted to try Uncle Oinker's gummi bacon.

  7. Oh my gosh, chocolate covered bacon?? Yikes--that's just wrong!--but I'll bet it's yummy! :)

    By the way, Chicago has a "chocolate tour" you might enjoy--if you can venture out of Wisconsin. :)

  8. HOW?! HOW?! HOW did I not know there was a chocolatefest in Burlington?! Are you holding out on us? I mean you tell us after it's over! Is it an annual thing? I AM going next year! It looks too delicious to pass by.

  9. Oh, good Lord! THIS is why Jimmy's been mentioning craving chocolate covered bacon!!! Man, I was thinkin', "What on earth is Jimbo talking about? Is he pregnant!?!?!" LOL!

    Cool post! Alice in Chocolateland is really neat. I always thought that if I were able to be in a place that had everything chocolate or everything candy, then it would be like Willy Wonka's!

  10. P.S. I noticed the date of this post. My goodness, Jeanna! Is it STILL May!?!?!?! I thought it was the end of June already! ;)

  11. Not sure I'm ever going to find out, Miss HP, but the kids put up enough of a fuss eating it.
    I think you know how I feel about Chicago.

  12. I'm amazed you missed it too, Lisa. It's been yearly since 1987 and it starts before Memorial Day, so you'll have time to catch it next year.
    Check out the hands on chocolate mural and Project Yum Way. If you have time, there are boat races down the street.
    I don't get too excited unless it's weird or gummi, but I had a nice tall glass of strawberry lemonade. Honestly, that's all I ate there, and I had some fierce munchies going on. I made up for it yesterday at Rhythm and Booms though.

  13. I think Jimmy would make a fun expectant mother, don't you?
    Part of the name is because there's an Alice In Dairyland in WI.
    I think with your post it will be June.

  14. Hey, C., is that June 11 or did you write it earlier?
    Thanks again for your great post, kiddo.
    Kisses to the fam.

  15. I think it was June 11th. Now that I think of it, it really wasn't a good post at all! Totally pales in comparison to Andi's and Jimbo's! ;p

  16. I started wondering what month it was--I even had to check my calendar.

    Chocolate covered bacon...I don't know how I feel about that. My kid eats bacon everything, but I'm not sure if he'd eat chocolate covered bacon. 0.o

  17. These kids and their dislike of chocolate bacon, go figure.

  18. I eat bacon. I eat chocolate. Bacon and chocolate together? Errrmmm...I dunno.

    LOL! Here's Hubby in the background saying, "Why not?! It all comes out the same end anyway."
    Ummm...He's joking, right? I don't think he's seriously try chocolate covered bacon. LOL!

  19. *he'd* and not *he's*

    Okay, Jimmy! Say it! I'm anal when it comes to me making typos! LOL!

  20. Jimmy has stopped reading long ago.

    I don't know about that, I think I've smelled chocolate coming out my pores.

    Something tells me John might be the one to do it. I'll have to put up the video of my nephew giving it a go. I got him to eat some gross Fear Factor stuff one Christmas. Just wait till Lisa gets her package, brrraa ahhh ahhh.


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